Malory: I think I can sell them on a rewrite, if you fix it.
Cyril: For starters, I don't think you wanna say this guy is as coal black and thick-muscled as a fieldhand.
Malory: I don't need you for content, just for plot structure.
Cyril: Racist overtones aside, it really kinda limits your casting options. I mean, only two, three guys could play that.

• Permalink: I think I can sell them on a rewrite, if you fix it. For start...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Malory: So make her 40.
Cyril: And who's going to play her?
Malory: Me! That's the whole point.
Cyril: You do realize there's a finite amount of Vaseline in the world?

• Permalink: So make her 40. And who's going to play her? Me! That's the...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cheryl: Do anything fun this weekend? Because I sure did. Friday night was cornhole league and then on Saturday...
Malory: If I cared what you do on the weekend I'd stick a shotgun in my mouth and pull the trigger with my toes.
Cheryl: Saturday I watched a building burn down.

• Permalink: Do anything fun this weekend? Because I sure did. Friday night...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Malory: Well, what about the ground breaking work that Dr. Krieger is doing for ISIS in our Applied Research Division?
Pam: Yeah, tell him about the sex robot.
Malory: Yes, the.. what?
Krieger: I call him Fister Roboto.

• Permalink: Well, what about the ground breaking work that Dr. Krieger is do...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Malory: Why are you drinking?
Archer: It's a party.
Malory: It's a baby shower! For the bastard child you pumped into a filthy whore!
Archer: I'm obviously not saying now, but one of these days you're make the best grandmother ever.

• Permalink: Why are you drinking? It's a party. It's a baby shower! For ...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Malory: Sterling! Len! Either and or both? Where the hell are you? Len?
Barry: Do you know where he is?
Malory: Yes, I'm just screaming his name down the hall to celebrate that fact.

• Permalink: Sterling! Len! Either and or both? Where the hell are you? Len...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Archer: You're black...ish.
Lana: Ish!?
Archer: Well what's the word for it, Lana? You freaked out when I said quadroon!
Lana: (sarcastic) Imagine that!!
Archer: You imagine it!
Malory: BOTH OF YOU IMAGINE SHUTTING UP!!!

• Permalink: You're black...ish. Ish!? Well what's the word for it, Lan...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Malory: Lana, you go straight to Moscow.
Lana: Undercover?
Malory: Of course undercover.
Lana: As what? Russia's only black woman?

• Permalink: Lana, you go straight to Moscow. Undercover? Of course under...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ray: You're taking me out of the field?
Malory: Well unless we need someone to go undercover as a shopping cart...

• Permalink: You're taking me out of the field? Well unless we need someone...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Malory: But they were blanks, weren't they?
Archer: Uhhh, only if the back of his skull picked that exact moment to explode outwards.

• Permalink: But they were blanks, weren't they? Uhhh, only if the back of ...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Malory: This is why I can't have nice things
Archer: Why, because you shoot them?

• Permalink: This is why I can't have nice things Why, because you shoot th...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Archer: You've been lying to me my entire life. Just for once I want you to tell me the truth.
Malory: Well, people in hell want ice water.

• Permalink: You've been lying to me my entire life. Just for once I want yo...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0