Archer
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXFavorite Malory Quotes
Malory: I am not sharing a room with you.
Gillette: No, I'm sharing it with you and it's the last room in the hotel. Mo view but it's got two queens.
Malory: Where's the other one, greasing up in the bathroom?
Malory: Have the porter bring me a cobb salad.
Lana: Before or after we capture the dangerous terrorist?
Malory: Before.
(Trying to figure out who Archers father is)
Archer: And just who might my dad be?
Malory: Gene Krupa, no wait... not Krupa... the other one, the one with Teeth......Buddy Rich.
Archer: (shocked) What?
Malory: I could never say no to a drummer.
Archer: (furious) COULD YOU SAY NO TO ANYONE!!?
(Malory vicously slaps him across face and glares)
Malory: (glowering) I said no to plenty.
It's like my brain's a tree and you're those little cookie elves.
Archer
God, how I envy the deaf.
You're not fit to be queen of...name a place.
Barry: Come on, it's your son's life.
Malory: And my money.
So you beat up a Nazi, a nerd and queen of the robots?
Archer: You said no dates!
Malory: I said no such thing.
Archer: Well, your mouth did.
Malory: Well, your mouth better get over there and make Torvald happy.
Archer: Um, phrasing.
Malory: Agent Performance: unsatisfactory.
Archer: Aw, com 'on. At worst that was "needs improvement."
Malory: I think I'll start shopping my memoirs! How does the title 'Secrets & Silk' grab you?
Sterling: Tightly...by my childhood's throat.
Cyril: Only if you promise to periodically micromanage it and emasculate me.
Malory: Cyril. I would have thought that goes without saying.
