Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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Luke [to Lily]: Okay a boy and a girl meet a frat party and they both think each other is totally hot. So they pound their beers and head upstairs-
Manny: Luke! Stop. She's not hearing this from you.

Jay: Where were you when I was growing up? I'd of had your dice and cigarettes before you got to homeroom.
Manny: Where'd you go to school? "Guys and Dolls?"

I like staying with you but it's basically camping.

C'mon Jay this is my farewell tour Trick-or-Treating in the neighborhood, I have to go out strong.

Ok keep in mind, I'm not in makeup yet, but do these sandals make my legs look thick? Because I can lower the hem.

Manny: When you first started dating him, what was his nickname for you?
Gloria: Sexy pants.
Manny: Ew. The other one?
Gloria: Bunny.

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Listen to me. I think you went to the jewelry store inside here (points to Jay's heart) and brought back a gem.

Manny: Bondi Beach is topless.
Luke: Thank you Trip Advisor.

This hair at a pool party? One dunk and it goes off like an airbag.

Phil: Sounds fun, wear your helmets.
Manny: We will. I'm not writing my first novel by blowing through a tube.

Manny: You have to face it Jay, one day I’m gonna be moving out of this house.
Jay: Can I get that in writing? Cause I just can’t shake this image of a 30 year old you, eating my food and cuddling with my wife.
Gloria: Boys should never stop cuddling their mothers.
Jay: I’m gonna have nightmares!

I don’t get it, you’re the greatest generation, but why can’t you feel?

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