Manny: When you first started dating him, what was his nickname for you?
Gloria: Sexy pants.
Manny: Ew. The other one?
Gloria: Bunny.

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Listen to me. I think you went to the jewelry store inside here (points to Jay's heart) and brought back a gem.

Manny: Bondi Beach is topless.
Luke: Thank you Trip Advisor.

This hair at a pool party? One dunk and it goes off like an airbag.

Phil: Sounds fun, wear your helmets.
Manny: We will. I'm not writing my first novel by blowing through a tube.

Manny: You have to face it Jay, one day I’m gonna be moving out of this house.
Jay: Can I get that in writing? Cause I just can’t shake this image of a 30 year old you, eating my food and cuddling with my wife.
Gloria: Boys should never stop cuddling their mothers.
Jay: I’m gonna have nightmares!

I don’t get it, you’re the greatest generation, but why can’t you feel?

Jay: Why do you look like that when I look like this?
Manny: My friends say it’s because of your money.

Jay: Trees are like women, the best ones make you work just a little bit harder.
Manny: She’s just not that into you.

Manny: You know what’s super helpful? When the guy in line behind you calls you Mount Sweatmore.
Luke: I was trying to relax you.

Andy: I'm the new Manny.
Manny: Am I being replaced?

Manny: Wow that was very mature of you.
Jay: Yeah well I'm a lot older now than when she started getting dressed.

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.


That's the funny thing about marriage, you fall in love with this extraordinary person and over time they begin to seem ordinary. I think it's all the nagging.