I don't want my mom there. I'm exploring some darker themes I'm not sure she's read for. Poems like the umbilical noose, a jail called mom, Smother nature. She'll just find a way to make it all about her.

We all weave a web of lies. Some we tell to try to help the ones we love, some we tell to try to fool ourselves.

Just because he's behind a curtain doesn't make him a wizard.

Claire

I've always felt out of place in public school, like a long petunia in an onion patch.

Just coffee for me today. Black. Like I feel on the inside.

Manny: My secret admirer asked that I wear a hat with a feather in it.
Jay: Which one?

Happy Valentine's Day, it's the one time of year when the world tries to be as romantic as I am all the time. Good luck world.

Kids make fun of you if you get a haircut. I just gave them a full blown sex scandal.

If you're hungry for broccoli later, you'll find a piece in your teeth.

Can I offer you a Pina Delgado?

Manny: Does anyone care that I'm not from Mexico?
Luke: You keep saying that but we've never seen a birth certificate.

Manny: Luke I need you for this. You're sneakier than I am, you a bigger liar, you have no moral compass.
Luke: Look thanks for all the compliments, but breaking into one stupid party? That's not even a challenge.

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.

Jay

Claire: My mom started drinking these cocktails called "horny Colombians" with some of Gloria's uncles, whom apparently the drink was named after
Phil: Oh come, they were funny
Claire: They kept grabbing my butt
Phil: Somebody is full of herself. It's a Colombian wedding tradition.. they said