Favorite Mark Brendanawicz Quotes
Recently I have been thinking about maybe leaving this job, but I felt like I needed a sign. And then Ann broke up with me the week I was going to propose, the government got shut down and yesterday one of those pigeons took an [expletive] on me. And I was indoors, so...
[to Leslie] I'm going to say something and I don't want you to take it the wrong way ... but you are being a huge dork.
Tom: Maybe Ron shot himself.
Leslie: Mmm, he has seemed really depressed lately.
Mark: He was shot in the back of the head.
Leslie: You're right. He loves the back of his head. He would never shoot himself there.
Ron: No, I'm bringing my workshop up to the Swanson code. And if the Swanson code happens to overlap with the city government code...
Mark: Shut up!
Mark: You've got hazardous chemicals over here.
Ron: Yeah, which only I am breathing. It's the same liberty that gives me the right to fart in my own car. Are you going to tell a man that he can't fart in his own car?
Mark: You know, not everyone has your enthusiasm for this work.
Leslie: You know, I guess I've been mispronouncing your name all these years, Mark Brendana-quits.
Jerry: Hey, Mark. A little birdie told me that you have an unpaid parking ticket.
Mark: Well that's funny because a little birdie told me that your adoptive mother was arrested for marijuana possession.
Jerry: What?
Mark: You didn't know that, huh?
Jerry: I didn't know I was adopted.
I hit rock bottom that night. I mean I literally fell to the bottom of a pit and hit a rock. I remember laying there thinking, there's probably a good reason why I'm down here. And then I remember thinking I need morphine.
Mark: Honestly, Leslie, it's going to be a long uphill battle. You are going to be super-annoyed with all the people who want you to fail. There is a sea of red tape, endless road blocks. So, yeah, I don't know. I don't know.
Leslie: Screw it. I'm gonna try to do it anyway.
You ever seen this man sleep? It's like underwater ballet.
Man, I should have yelled at you way more.
Mark: Why does anyone want to run for public office, you're just asking to have your entire life exposed.
Tom: Not if you're squeaky clean like me.
Mark: You're married and you hit on women constantly.
Tom: Yeah but never sealed the deal. Just window shopping. You can fly to Brazil, just never enter the cave. Am I right? Up top!
