Favorite Michael Bluth Quotes
Mrs. Featherbottom: Ok, who'd like a banger in the mouth? Oh...right, I forgot; here in the states you call it 'a sausage' in the mouth.
Michael: We just call it a sausage.
Buster: It's like she gets off by being withholding.
Gob: Look who's got something to say.
Buster: I'm Mom and I want to shoot down everything you say so I can feel good about myself. 'Cause I'm an uptight -- BLEEP -- Buster -- You old horny slut!
Michael: Well, no one's gonna top that.
Michael: Hey, why don't you pop a tent in front with your cousin Maeby?
George Michael: What? No!
Maeby: I'm not really the outdoorsy type.
Michael: Well, this is a good chance for you to rub off on her.
Michael: What the hell is going on? Nellie is not a, uh, uh, a prostitute.
Gob: Of course, she is. Oh, but I can see where the misunderstanding is. You didn't know. (yelling to Nellie in the background) Maybe we can give him a family discount!
Michael: Family discount is right, Gob. This is the sister I've been talking about.
Gob: Maybe I should have been getting a family rate ... (breaking down) Oh, my God.
Michael: I'm a saint, you know. I'm a living saint, and I get absolutely nothing out of it.
Lindsay: Well, you get a false feeling of superiority.
Michael: That is nice, but this time it's not enough.
Unbelievable. Sounds like you saved enough skin to make 10 new boys.
Lucille: (about Lucille 2) She changed him as a baby!
Michael: Ok, that's about the creepiest thing I've ever heard.
Buster: That's why she didn't look surprised.
Ms. Baerly: Wow! Did you make this for me? This is so sweet. I love Hussein.
Michael: You mean, you're interested in him.
Ms. Baerly: Oh, yes. He is a monster. Wow, where did you find this one of him in a Speedo?
Michael: Again. Didn't like Nazhgalia.
Gob: Really?
Michael: Really. And good luck getting rid of her.
Gob: Oh, please. Not a problem. She knows it was a one-time thing. Totally cool.
(Phone rings)
Michael: So romantic.
Gob: Who's N. Bahn-Ahden?
Lucille: Michael, the little Korean is here, and I don't know what to do with him. At least, I think it's a him. You've got to strip them down to next to nothing before you could even tell.
Michael: Yeah. Mom, I just spoke to Social Services, and although they don't like to do this, if you can prove that it's a bad environment for a child, and I would suggest saying what you just said to me. Don't change a word. They will take him back.
George Sr.: I haven't had a vacation in years. This is my vacation. I'm exercising, I'm sleeping well.
Michael: You're doing time.
George Sr.: I'm doing the time of my life.
(After George Sr. is put in jail)
Michael: And Lindsay, I expected this from them because they're completely oblivious. But you, you should know better.
(Michael walks away)
Gob: Lindsay, he's really mad at you.
