Michael: A town car is something a company sends when they are in trouble. A limo is something they send when there is cause for celebration. In this case I believe they are celebrating ... me.• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Michael: Alan Grant, the CEO, of the company, if title's important to you, has personally invited moi, to go to New York, to the shareholders meeting. And sit up on the stage with the board of directors and at some point they are going to introduce me as... the most successful branch manager that have had. And then Michael Scott turns and waves to the crowd. And the crowd goes wild.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Michael: I am not going to "do" the "twirl," alright? It's not even a twirl, it's a spin. [pauses] I might do the spin.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Pam: Don't do the twirl.
Phyllis: Lose the twril.
Dwight: Twirl sucks!
Kevin: Michael, I hated the twirl.
Andy: Hate the twirl!
Michael: Okay, obviously I'm not going to do the twirl. I only did it because I nailed the wave.
Phyllis: Yeah, good. Don't do it.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Dwight: What kind of mileage does this baby get?
Erin: It's like what high school kids take to prom on TV shows.
Oscar: So typical of management to spend money on this. Ugh, what a bunch of boobs.
Michael: Hate to break it to you Oscar, but some of us like boobs.
Dwight: Calves. Calves all the way.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Michael: Alright. Well, I know a guy. This Mexican guy, he's a math wiz. He knows economics as well as he knows bullfighting and I am going to call in a little favor.
David: No-no-no-no, don't call anybody, Michael.
Michael: Well I'm texting him, so.
David: Please do not text anybody now, Michael.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Michael: Well. That was a waste of a text. Let's get down to brass tacks. I think that we might be in trouble. We don't seem to have a plan, so I'm thinking I go down there maybe rattle off a few jokes. The Congressman could follow?
Alan: He's our best manager? Where's the off button on this moron?
Michael: Uhh. I'm not a moron. Time after time, my branch, leads in sales. I have personally won over 17 Dundie awards so I am not a moron. And, I'm just trying to help, you know? So... you're the moron.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Michael: Alright. We are gonna ... we are gonna go out there, during this break, and we are gonna come back with a plan. We're gonna come back with a plan for you. It's a 45-day plan. 45 days! To get us back, on track. 45 points! It's a 45-day, 45-point, one point per day. We get 45 points, we're back in business! [cheers] And you can take that to the bank! And limo lady! We are going completely carbon-neutral! [more cheers] I love you New York! You! You!
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Andy: I'm so jealous right now.
Michael: Hey, you know who you shouldn't be jealous of. Yourself. Because you're invited, and you're invited, and you're invited, and you, you and you and you, and you--
Limo driver: Car seats eight.
Michael: What?
Limo driver: The car seats eight.
Michael: The limo seats eight.
Michael: Okay. Then Jim and Pam. And Ryan plus a guest.
Jim and Pam: No thanks.
Ryan: I'll use it when you're done.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Michael: I wish the windows weren't tinted so people could see us in here.
Andy: Hey you guys do you think anyone might have had sex in here?
Dwight: Definitely, definitely! Smells like it!
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 806
