You won't drool over pizza like an animal anymore.

Andy: You know I'm the worst salesman here right?
Michael: But you're the best salesman on the inside.
Phyllis: What does that even mean?
Michael: You sold us all on Andy, a product that nobody wanted.

When Phyllis was in high school, she was soooo cute...and she still is.

Pam: Should we get toppings?
Michael: What do you like Pam?

Michael: I am told there are bears in the Rockies.
Dwight: Where'd you here that? Obvious XM Radio?

Yeah, okay. Well this is gonna hurt like a mother (bleeped).

Dwight: I just don't see the point of the Dundies, okay? The jokes are terrible, the venue was bad, the fashion was boring.
Michael: Okay, that is unfair. The clothing was safe but tasteful.

That Phyllis bit...that was pretty good right?

The diabetes award goes to Stanley Hudson. Come on up here you sick bastard.

Deangelo: Just go do it by yourself, or get Ryan.
Michael: No Ryan would never do it. It's too on the radar.

Deangelo: Jim, do you know where I can find Michael Scott?
Michael (as Jim): Oh I totally don't know where Michael is, dude. Hey you wanna listen to some records?

This is my last Dundies ever, if I want mind control over him, is that too much to ask?

The Office Quotes

A little cover up on your adam's apple will make it appear smaller, which will make you look less like a transvestite.

Michael (to Gabe)

Would I rather be feared or loved? Umm...easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

Michael