Popular Michael Scott Quotes
Yes, I was the first one out. And yes, I've heard "women and children first." But we do not employ children. We are not a sweatshop, thankfully. And women are equal in the workplace by law. So if I let them out first, I have a lawsuit on my hands.
When I was Ryan's age, I worked in a fast food restaurant to save up money for school. And then I lost it in a pyramid scheme, but I learned more about business right then and there than business school would ever teach me - or Ryan would ever teach me.
So I never went to business school. You know who else didn't go to business school? LeBron James. Kobe Bryant. Tracy McGrady.
Michael
Michael: [on hold with Sherry] I wish I could fire Sherry.
Sherry: I'm still here, Michael.
Michael: Err... OK, Sherry. Thank you.
Michael: For emergency contact put down Todd F. Packer. You know what the "F" stands for?
Ryan: Fudge?
Michael: Look, Dwight here is a wuss. When we rented "Armageddon", he cried at the end of it.
Dwight: Michael, I told you! It was because it was New Year's Eve and it started to snow at exactly midnight!
Michael: [As Dwight] "Oh, are they really gonna leave Bruce Willis on the asteroid? Boo-hoo!"
Michael: Pam, I hate to break this to you, but Dwight can't stop you from being mugged. He's just not tough enough.
Pam: He's a purple belt, that's really high.
Michael: Oh God, I could beat up Dwight, that's ridiculous. I can murder him.
Would I rather be feared or loved? Umm... easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.
Michael
Michael: C'mon, hit me...
Jim: I can't. I just got a manicure.
Michael: Oh, queer! [looks at camera] ...eye. Queer eye! Good show, important show.
Would I rather be feared or loved? Umm...easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.
Michael
Michael: OK. Let's do this thing. Wish us luck.
Dwight: Good luck, Michael! Good luck, Jan!
Jan: Thank you.
Michael: Kiss ass.
[on the phone] All right, done deal! Thank you very much sir! You are a gentleman and a scholar! [pause] Oh, I'm sorry. Okay, I'm sorry. My mistake. [hangs up] That was a woman I was talking to... so, she had a very low voice. Probably a smoker. So that's the way it's done!
