The Office

Michael Scott Quotes (Page 12)

Michael (impersonating Gabe): Ahhh, I'm gonna mess everything up so I can fix it and keep my job. Bah. Bah. Good thing I'm here 'cause I do nothing. I make everybody nervous. Gahh.
 • Rating: 2.0 / 5.0

Michael: I was raised by wolfs. I was 25 years old before I saw my first human being. Wait, is it a full moon tonight? Awooooooo!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: I know what you wanna ask me, did your mom ever see you naked?
Toby: We can do this with more privacy.
Michael: So you can molest me? Okay, I don't think so. We're gonna keep the blinds open so everyone can see what a big failure you are.
 • Rating: 2.0 / 5.0

Michael (to Toby): You are the worst. I hate looking at your face. I wanna smash it.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Michael: You don't have all the facts.
Jo: Which are?
Michael: I love him.
Jo: How far has it gone?
 • Rating: 2.0 / 5.0

Oscar: If there's nothing wrong with this Michael, why have you been keeping it a secret?
Michael: Because I wanted you to come to me and say "Wow, he is so great" and I was gonna say "Well it's in the genes." And I was actually gonna be wearing jeans...and I'd point to them.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Michael: Do you think they should have had open auditions for the band Hanson? What if no one named Hanson showed up? That wouldn't even make sense. Or what if they just hired the littlest kid, and a 50 year old guy...who was a murderer? Really safe.
 • Rating: 4.3 / 5.0

Michael: The last time I saw Luke was the opening day of Ace Ventura 2, and that was '95, so yes...15 years on the dot.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Michael: ...because I had a great summer. I got Wes Nile Virus. Lost a ton of weight. Then I went back to the lake. Stepped on a piece of glass in the parking lot, which hurt. That got infected even though I peed on it. Saw Inception, or at least I dreamt I did.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Michael: There are only like 12 minutes that I felt was worth taping. And most of that was just birds in my condo complex. And I miss Holly.
 • Rating: Unrated

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