Favorite Mike Biggs Quotes
Mike: Wait, you mean she's acted like this before?
Joyce: Prom, senior picture day, and one god awful summer when she decided to master the accordion.
Molly: Slow and steady always wins the race. Don't I always say that?
Mike: She does, never in the right context, but it's a good saying anyway.
Do you really want to raise a child in a house with your mom and sister? His first birthday will be at the Betty Ford Clinic!
Mike: Maybe if you had talked a little less and listened a little more we wouldn't be in this mess!
Molly: Really?
Mike: Listen, I don't want a big fight.
Molly: Well, it's too late for that.
Carl: Now if you want to get into your bride's head a little bit, just change "boobs" to "holy matrimony".
Mike: Wow, I had no idea it consumed their every though and dictated their every action.
We Biggs don't tone and we don't tan - we burn and we stroke out.
Molly: You're gonna kill him right? Please tell me you're gonna kill him.
Mike: If I say yes, it's premeditated.
Molly: Smart. I love you.
I look like a portly James Bond. Double - X Seven.
Molly: Why don't you stay with your mom tomorrow night?
Mike: For the same reason I don't chew on tinfoil or try to kiss bears.
The sound of my parents slapping their sweaty bodies together? It was like Satan clapping his hands.
When you go on vacation it's kind of a vacation for all of us.
Mike: Have you heard from Molly?
Joyce: I'm sure everything's fine. We left her with Victoria.
Mike: No disrespect Mrs. Flynn, but those two sentences don't go together.
