Unless you can convince Tom Brady to spend the night, I am not making breakfast for any football players…He is a football player right?

Cam: It's a bird! It's a plane!
Mitchell: It's super out of breath.
Cam: Happy Halloween to you too.

Well that's attractive. You look like a puppy with a slipper.

I can be challenging finding playmates for an exceptional child. I don't mean to brag, but that's why i didn't have any friends.

Claire: Why are you trying to turn this into a fight? I called to yell at you for getting me sick. Love you, bye.
Mitchell: I love you too.

I never get sick. I must've caught some kind of chill on the beach when my socks got wet...My ankles burn.

Cam: Hey counselor, what do I have to do to get you to drop that suit?
Mitchell: Cam what are you doing here?
Cam: Surprising my hugs-band!

Mitchell: There is no easy way to ask this, but are you all high?
Claire: No Mitchell, we're happy.

Cam: Oh my God! It feels like we have one mind and one heart.
Mitchell: And one chair.

Claire: There's a reason I'm the best person.
Mitchell: You know that's just a title for today right?
Claire: Yeah, I'm the best person at this wedding.

Don't cry, you'll streak your bronzer.

Mitchell: This is my second favorite suit of yours.
Cam: Second?
Mitchell: Right after your birthday suit.
Cam: Hey! Cut it out, I'm practically a married man.

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.

Jay

You're like a mob wife. You complain about what I do, but have no problem wearing the fur that fell off the back of the truck.

Mitchell