Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Cam: Poker face, poker face.
Mitchell: Ok, now work on your poker voice.

5 oclock Christmas Eve and I have to find a dozen perfect presents for the world’s snarkiest, cattiest men. My dear, dear friends.

Claire: So I finally get out of the closet and there’s dad looking down on me.
Mitchell: Been there.

Lily: Stop Dad you’re embarrassing me.
Mitchell: Welcome to the rest of your life sweetheart.

Missouri, misery, huh?

Mitchell [to Lily]: Wanna get our face painted like a pretty butterfly?
Cam: No I’m not in the mood.

Okay one of us has to change. We look like twin toddlers at church.

Oh this is Haley, 'be there in 5, Alex took ducking forever.'

Mitchell: Hey fiancée.
Cam: Hello my intended.

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