I want magic, is that so bad?

That's more like dork magic.

It's not sex until you put the straw in the coconut.

I love you like a mother or sister or girlfriend. It's not sexual.

Nick: Of course we make decisions. How do you think I'm wearing clothes right now?
Schmidt: I lay those out for you Nick.

Well get ready for the skin circus you little peanut.

I knew that French was gonna haunt me.

I'm gonna grab some old underpants and put a pair into the freezer for each of you.

Trust me, I'm wearing frozen underpants right now and I feel amazing.

I put on my special underwear because Jess is back because I made a promise I'd be wearing these when you came back.

Winston: Would you consider us adorable?
Nick: No, we're adult men. We're cute.

It's not gonna end well for these two.

New Girl Quotes

Cece: What's your stripper name?
Jess: Uh, Rebecca Johnson.
Cece: Your stripper name is Rebecca Johnson?
Jess: Boobies Johnson. Two Boobs Johnson.

I could pretend to be more like you, Jess, and live on a sparkly rainbow and drive a unicorn around and just sing all the time.

Nick