I want magic, is that so bad?

• Permalink: I want magic, is that so bad?
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That's more like dork magic.

• Permalink: That's more like dork magic.
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It's not sex until you put the straw in the coconut.

• Permalink: It's not sex until you put the straw in the coconut.
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I love you like a mother or sister or girlfriend. It's not sexual.

• Permalink: I love you like a mother or sister or girlfriend. It's not sexual.
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Nick: Of course we make decisions. How do you think I'm wearing clothes right now?
Schmidt: I lay those out for you Nick.

• Permalink: I lay those out for you Nick.
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Well get ready for the skin circus you little peanut.

• Permalink: Well get ready for the skin circus you little peanut.
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I knew that French was gonna haunt me.

• Permalink: I knew that French was gonna haunt me.
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I'm gonna grab some old underpants and put a pair into the freezer for each of you.

• Permalink: I'm gonna grab some old underpants and put a pair into the freezer for each of you.
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Trust me, I'm wearing frozen underpants right now and I feel amazing.

• Permalink: Trust me, I'm wearing frozen underpants right now and I feel amazing.
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I put on my special underwear because Jess is back because I made a promise I'd be wearing these when you came back.

• Permalink: I put on my special underwear because Jess is back because I made a promise I'd be wearing...
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Winston: Would you consider us adorable?
Nick: No, we're adult men. We're cute.

• Permalink: No, we're adult men. We're cute.
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It's not gonna end well for these two.

• Permalink: It's not gonna end well for these two.
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