Favorite Oscar Martinez Quotes
Oscar: I can play if you need any help.
Michael: I will use your talents come baseball season, my friend. Or if we box.
Oscar: Will you marry me?
Holly: No.
Michael: That marriage would be a sham.
Michael: I had no idea when I got in that car and headed to New York I was going to quit. I got on that ramp and I thought two hours, two hours to go. Feeling good. Listen to some tunes. Should've peed before I left.
Kelly: Michael get to the good part.
Michael: Okay, so. I get up to the building, I get to the revolving door... broken! So I have to take the normal door.
Oscar: At least he is in the building.
Michael: No, No! I was so nervous it was the wrong building! I walked into the wrong building!
Stanley: You find anything?
Kevin: We think it's a straight forward kidnapping.
Oscar: Stanley, could you look up "accomplices"?
Stanley: Why can't you guys do it?
Oscar: Because we're looking up jail time.
Stanley: Fine.
Oscar: Don't you wanna see the baby?
Dwight: Why? I know what Angela and the Senator look like. I can mash that up in my head right now.
See that, the obvious symmetry of the face? That's a natural appeal of the scientific standard of coin aphelia, features that are a composite average of many features. Yes, she is attractive, but is not hot.
Creed: [feeding coins into a vent] I think it's 75 cents.
Oscar: That's a lot.
Oscar: If there's nothing wrong with this Michael, why have you been keeping it a secret?
Michael: Because I wanted you to come to me and say "Wow, he is so great" and I was gonna say "Well it's in the genes." And I was actually gonna be wearing jeans...and I'd point to them.
Meredith: Jim, good for you, standing up to Pam like that.
Creed: The balls on you, man.
Oscar: So Michael, what do you think?
Michael: Why me?
Jim: You have to make the decision.
I apologize for my friend, and for the Republicans who cutting your funding.
Michael: Why don't you explain this to me like I'm five.
Oscar: Your mommy and daddy give you 10 dollars to open up a lemonade stand. So you go out and you buy cups and you buy lemons and you buy sugar. And now you find out that it only costs you nine dollars.
Michael: Ho-oh!
Oscar: So you have an extra dollar.
Michael: Yeah.
Oscar: So you can give that dollar back to mommy and daddy, but guess what? Next summer...
Michael: I'll be six.
Oscar: It looks like the camera man was hiding behind the shelves.
Phyllis: Wait, so they were filming all the time even when we didn't know it?
