Favorite Oscar Martinez Quotes
Angela: Kevin, you screwed this form up again. The amount owed goes at the top.
Kevin: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was doing something wrong. If I had, I would've admitted it, and stopped right away.
Angela: That's enough.
Kevin: Because I wouldn't want an innocent person, who doesn't know anything about the form... What?
Oscar: That was good. It's just ... at the end you weren't saying something that could also apply to the form.
Kevin: How about, "I'm sorry I did such a whorish job filling out this form?"
Oscar: There you go.
Well, this is what happened. Uh, Ryan's big project was the website. Which wasn't doing so well. So Ryan, to give the impression of sales, recorded them twice. Once as offices and once in the website sales, which is what we refer to in the business as misleading the shareholders. Another good term is fraud. The real crime, I think, was the beard.
The Dunder Mifflin stock symbol is DMI. Do you know what that stands for? Dummies, morons, and idiots. Because that's what you'd have to be to own it. And as one of those idiots, I believe the board owes me answers.
Michael: Should I bring a dictionary?
Oscar: The hospital will provide dictionaries. Bring a thesaurus.
And just like that. As mysteriously as he arrived, he was gone.
Michael: I've got a big box, Yes, I do! I've got a big box, How 'bout you?
Erin: I've got a big box, Yes, I do! I've got a big box,How 'bout you?
Oscar: I think you don't know what you're saying.
Michael: We'll ask Powerpoint.
Oscar: Michael, this is a presentation tool.
Michael: You're a presentation tool!
Oscar: We're back on the 5th, should we just do it then?
Michael: Can not do it then. Monthly dental appointment, soft teeth
Oscar: What about February 2nd?
Jim: Ah... would you want to do it on Groundhogs day?
Michael: No, no. I celebrate privately.
Kevin: I wouldn't last in jail, Oscar, I'm not like you.
Oscar: What's that supposed to mean?
Kevin: Oh you don't know about jail? Oh you would LOVE jail.
Oscar: Why would I love jail.
Kevin: Because [pauses] you would love it.
Angela: [on phone] Hello? Hello?
Andy: What is wrong with you?
Oscar: Why won't you do Andy?
Angela: What?
Andy: That was Oscar and he wants to know why you won't do me and I think it's a valid question.
Angela: Are you drunk?
Andy: This is Andy Bernard!
Angela: I know who this is!
Andy: I wanna take you to sex school.
Angela: What?
Dwight: [on phone] Who is that, Monkey?
Andy: Is somebody there?
Angela: Are you drunk?
Andy: I have needs.
Angela: We will discuss this later.
Andy: Naked.
Angela: What?
Andy: We'll discuss it later naked. I want to see you naked.
Saddle shoes with denim? I will literally call protective services.
Robert seems great. He's very handsome, firm handshake, he's gay, good sense of humor.
