Favorite Pam Beesly Quotes
Pam: Can I turn on the radio?
Michael: No. I need silence or Sam Kinison to prepare.
Pam: But then you fall asleep and there's nothing for me to do.
Michael: Then listen to your iPod, Pam.
Pam: That's dangerous.
Michael: Well then... hey you know what then let's just talk.
Pam: That's okay I can... I'm fine. I'll just play a song in my head.
Karen: Hey. Hi, guys.
Michael: [notices Karen's pregnant] Oh my God. Is that Jim's?
Karen: What!
Pam: Michael!
Karen: Of course not!
Michael: Okay. Wow. Oh man! My head just exploded. Whoo! Thank God, for everybody right? Whoo kay. Wow, you're huge! That's incredible! I... God sorry, sorry my head is... I'm just, I'm trying to figure out the last time that you and Jim had sex, and...
Karen: Let's just get this over with, shall we?
Michael: Okay, mmm. Ten, ten months?
Michael: I grab this [grabs a chain saw], and I turn it on and I say, "Prepare yourself, for the Utica chain store massacre."
Karen: No that's, that is incredibly dangerous.
Michael: No, don't worry, the chain is off.
Pam: No it's not.
Pam: So when are you due?
Karen: Uh, in about a month.
Pam: Wow, that is wonderful, congratulations.
Karen: Thank you. It just all happened so fast.
Michael: It's really amazing. Congratulations Karen. So is there a guy or, uh, a person. Or, uh, a sperm machine that did this to you, or?
Karen: Yes, Michael. My husband impregnated me.
Michael: Oh, great.
Michael: I would give that lecture a solid B+. Although, for the record, Karen. Wow, kind of mean.
Pam: I like her.
Michael: Really? No, honestly. Tell me what you really think.
Pam: I'm serious. Um, I'm really glad I came.
Michael: Why?
Pam: Because, um, cause I'll never wonder ever again. If I did something wrong and... Now I have closure. She's happy and, I don't know, it feels good.
Pam: Are you asleep?
Michael: No. I'm just thinking about what you said, about Karen, about closure. You remember Holly? She used to work for H.R.?
Pam: No, remind me.
Michael: Blonde hair, nice boobs. Not too big, not too small.
Michael: She was the love of my life. What you and Jim have times 100. Just she... she just left. And I didn't... I never got closure, you know? I never got closure with her. I haven't talked to her since. I haven't seen her since. And I feel like I need to go to Nashua and get closure. I feel like I need that.
Pam: Okay, lets go.
Michael: I'll just blow off the lecture at Rochester.
Pam: Yeah, screw 'em. Let's do this.
So, detour. We're now adding Nashua to the Lecture Circuit so Michael can confront Holly and get some closure. Nashua actually sounded very excited on the phone. I don't think they get a lot of visitors. Because their office is only accessible by cross-country skis. Hey-oh! ... I've been driving too long.
Michael: She has a boyfriend.
Pam: I'm so sorry, Michael.
Michael: How could she do this to me, Pam?
Pam: She's not doing it to hurt you.
Michael: I can't do the presentation, I can't- ... just... oh... thinking about seeing him... and... thinking about... him getting to hold her and getting to kiss her, it just- oh, God!
Pam: Listen, when Jim was dating Karen, I didn't want to come to work. It was awful. I hated it. I wanted to quit, but-
Michael: I know, just... uh, please, I'm going through something, okay?
Pam: You know, when Holly gets back, everyone will tell her what a great job you did. And then she'll realize what she's missing.
Michael: And then she'll move back to Scranton. And her boyfriend will die.
Pam: Yeah, maybe.
Michael: So, okay, you're a salesman. What's, uh, what's your name?
A.J.: A.J.
Michael: A.J. What kind of name is A.J.? What do you race cars?
A.J.: I'm a salesman. That's why I raised my hand.
Michael: Ooh. Ouch. Okay, good. You're funny, very good and funny. Tell me, A.J., are you dating? Is there somebody you date?
A.J.: Yeah. Why, are you interested?
Woman: I have a question about discounts from distributors.
Michael: Yep, we will get to you. Okay, so you're dating somebody? Um... is it serious?
A.J.: It's pretty serious, yes.
Michael: Does she ever talk about me?
Pam: Oh, God.
A.J.: Excuse me?
Man: What does this have to do with sales?
Michael: It's all connected. Shut up.
That was weird, huh? It's all part of the presentation. It was confusing, right? Because confusing situations happen to us all the time in our jobs. I'm just trying to bridge the gap between what just happened and the fact that I'm going to be doing the rest of the presentation. [reading from cards, in Forrest Gump voice] Sales is like a box a chocolates, you never know which vendor you're gonna get. Forrest Gump.
Michael: Want some pie?
Pam: No.
Michael: I went through Holly's things.
Pam: What?
Michael: I stole a sleeve of her sweater.
Pam: Oh, Michael...
Michael: I also stole something off of her computer. A document called "Dear Michael."
Pam: You did what?
Michael: I shouldn't have done it. It just- I couldn't help it.
Pam: She never sent it to you?
Michael: No, sh- she didn't. I'm gonna read it.
Pam: No.
Michael: Yes.
