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Sheldon: I need to know exactly what Leonard did to get you to put an emotional cap in his buttocks.
Sheldon: Again, urban slang, in which I'm beginning to get remarkable fluency
- Permalink: I need to know exactly what Leonard did to get you to put an emo...
Penny: Sheldon, what do you want?
Sheldon: I'm certain this will come as no surprise to you, but Leonard is failing in yet another relationship.
Penny: He's having problems with Stephanie?
Sheldon: She's sending virtual livestock to random men on the Internet
- Permalink: Sheldon, what do you want? I'm certain this will come as no su...
Penny: I am going to introduce your friend to a world of hurt.
Leonard: You don't want to get into it with Sheldon. The guy is one lab accident away from being a super villain
- Permalink: I am going to introduce your friend to a world of hurt. You do...
Penny: Wait, Sheldon. This has gotten way out of hand. Okay, I've done some stupid things; you've done some stupid things. How about we just call it even and move on with our lives?
Sheldon: I've done no stupid things.
Penny: Look, you've got to meet me half way here.
Sheldon: I am meeting you half-way. I'm willing to concede that you've done some stupid things
- Permalink: Wait, Sheldon. This has gotten way out of hand. Okay, I've done ...
Leonard: Just apologize to him, okay?
Penny: What? I'm not going to apologize to that nut-case.
Leonard: Come on, it's easy. He'll even tell you what to say
- Permalink: Just apologize to him, okay? What? I'm not going to apologize ...
Wolowitz: Over the years, we've formulated a number of theories about how he might reproduce. I'm an advocate of mitosis.
Penny: I'm sorry?
Wolowitz: I believe one day Sheldon will eat an enormous amount of Thai food and split into two Sheldons.
Leonard: On the other hand, I think Sheldon might be the larval form of his species and someday he'll spin a cocoon and emerge two months later with moth wings and an exoskeleton
- Permalink: Over the years, we've formulated a number of theories about how ...
Penny [after witnessing Sheldon and Ramona together]: You probably don't want to go in there.
Leonard: Why? What are they doing?
Penny: The only way I could explain it would be in a therapist's office with dolls
- Permalink: You probably don't want to go in there. Why? What are they doi...
Sheldon: Please, please, I don't have a lot of time. Ramona finally dozed off and I need you to help me get rid of her.
Penny: Get rid of her how?
Sheldon: I don't know, but apparently I'm in some kind of relationship, and you seem to be an expert at ending them.
Penny: Excuse me?
Sheldon: I see man after man leaving this apartment, never to return.
- Permalink: Please, please, I don't have a lot of time. Ramona finally dozed...
Boy, you'd think you could trust a horde of Hungarian barbarians
- Permalink: Boy, you'd think you could trust a horde of Hungarian barbarians
Penny: What's AFK?
Sheldon: Away From Keyboard.
Penny: Oh, I see.
Sheldon: What does that stand for?
- Permalink: What's AFK? Away From Keyboard. Oh, I see. What does that ...
Penny: Oh, my God, a treasure chest. I'm rich!
Sheldon: Level 3 and she thinks she's rich, what a noob.
- Permalink: Oh, my God, a treasure chest. I'm rich! Level 3 and she thinks...
Sheldon: You're asking me to keep a secret?
Sheldon: Well, I'm sorry, but you would have had to express that desire before revealing the secret, so that I could choose whether or not I wanted to accept the covenant of secret-keeping. You can't impose a secret on an ex post facto basis.
Sheldon: Secret-keeping is a complicated endeavor. One has to be concerned not only about what one says, but about facial expressions, autonomic reflexes. When I try to deceive, I myself have more nervous tics then a Lyme disease research facility.... It's a joke. It relies on the homonymic relationship between "tick," the bloodsucking arachnid, and "tic," the involuntary muscular contraction. I made it up myself
- Permalink: You're asking me to keep a secret? Yeah. Well, I'm sorry, bu...