Penny: Can I ask you a question?
Sheldon: Given your community college education, I encourage you to ask as many as possible.

Penny: OK. Well, then, there's a couple of things you should probably know.
Sheldon: I have a master's degree and two doctorates. The things I should know, I do know.

Penny: You have nice hair.
Amy: Are you a homosexual?
Penny: No!
Amy: Would have been more flattered if you were a homosexual.

Sheldon: As a native Texan, I must say that I've never heard the phrase "yee haw" used in quite that context.
Penny: Oh God.
Sheldon: "Oh God." That I've heard on multiple occasions.

Sheldon: This is for you
Penny: Ice cream?
Sheldon: I've been familiarizing myself with female emotional crises by studying the comic strip, "Cathy." when she's upset she says, "ack" and eats ice cream.
Penny: Ack.
Sheldon: If you were a cat, I would have brought you lasagna.

Leonard: If my PE teachers told me this is what I was training for I would have tried a lot harder.
Penny: Do or do not, there is no try.
Leonard: Did you just quote Star Wars?
Penny: I believe I quoted Empire Strikes Back.
Leonard: Oh my God. I'm lying in bed with a beautiful woman who can quote Yoda.

Penny: So what do you say, Sheldon, are we your X-Men?
Sheldon: No, the X-Men were named for the "X" in "Charles Xavier." Since I am Sheldon Cooper, you will be my "C-Men."

Leonard: We think we can help you with your stage fright.
Sheldon: Oh, I doubt that. I haven't figured out a way, and I'm much smarter than all of you.
Penny: Yes, buy you're not smaller than all of us put together.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, that is what I meant.

Penny: I once got a pretty big honor in high school, and I was terrified about appearing in front of a big crowd, but I went through with it, and you know what? The world looked pretty darn good sitting on a haystack in the back of a Ford F-150 as a member of the corn queen's court.
Sheldon: Thank you. I'll bear that in mind if I'm ever nomianted for the hillbilly peace prize.

Okay, I'm just to go home and make a grilled cheese sandwich and window shop on eHarmony.

Penny: Who's Adam West?
Sheldon: Who's Adam West!? Leonard, what do you talk about after the coitus?
Wolowitz: My guess is "four minutes, a new record!"

Penny: Sheldon's in jail.
Leonard: What'd he do?
Penny: The same crap he normally does, except to a judge.

TBBT Quotes

Amy, I excel at many things, but getting over you wasn't one of them.


(Singing) Thor and Dr Jones, Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightening, the other plays with bones.

Howard and Raj