Claire: It's a little tight.
Phil: Well the salesman said it was the style and he looked like a Mumford and Son so I think he would know.

Luke: How many moms does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Phil: How many?
Luke: None because she's got you to do that sucker.

Phil Dunphy this is the year 2025, welcome, you're the first one here.

Let's get Phil-sical.

Some people describe this escape as visual poetry!

Luke: Is that Mom's apron?
Phil: It's an apron.

I think we're all having a baby!

No cops! We can't afford a scandal right now! Claire's running for town council.

Wait, does that mean you also didn't like my bagpiping? Is that why we have Luke?

You know what a human pyramid is without hours of training? Ten obituaries!

Ho Ho Hold up a sec!

If you ain't white, you ain't right.