I never liked Spandau Ballet. Our entire marriage, I never once mentioned Spandau Ballet. Am I even pronouncing that right?

You poked the bear girls! You poked him!

Or you could just be nice and pay it forward. They don't make movies out of bad ideas.

Did I just say wife gets in the way? Cause sometimes I do that.

Put the 'he' in 'hero,' son.

As a my favorite redhead once sang, “the sun will come out tomorrow.” That redhead of course was Mitchell, introducing me to the plucky orphan Annie. Whose never say die attitude pulled this country out of a little thing called The Great Depression. And anything a little girl can do, I can try to do too.

Forgive me for thinking your zesty performance deserves some praise!

Good to see you Betty Luke.

Haley: Did anyone see my leopard print skirt?
Phil: I saw a leopard headband on the stairs.
Haley: That's it.

I love you when you're human.

These jeans just slipped on me so perfectly, my name must be "Pantserella."

Phil: It's just that when you say "Phil is my son-in-law", it sounds like you're saying "Phyllis, my son-in-law."
Jay: That's ridiculous.
Phil: Who is your son-in-law?
Jay: Phyllis!

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.

Jay

It's a body spray called Sex Grenade. One of the divorced dad's in the hotel recommended it.

Luke