Can I sit around an empty house and wait for someone? Baby I'm a realtor. I have a license for that.

Buffalo Phil. Worth the wait.

Oh quick, nature's surefire sunburn remedy- aloe!

You know why else he's gonna be ok? Because somewhere out there is a little girl who's making lists and labeling bins...and he's gonna find her.

Good to see you Betty Luke.

Phil: Remember the great Kevin Bacon on footloose?
Luke: More like Foot-loser.

In your face, girl with a negative tattoo.

I love you when you're human.

Thanks to 35 dollars on the Internet you are looking at the Good Reverend Phillip Humphrey Dunphy.

You've just gotta tell him man to man, woman to man, you're very shapely.

Happy Valenbirthuhhhversary!

Phil: Dad, what's up?
Frank: Nothing, but these boxers are starting to ride high.
Phil: I'm in no mood for jokes... although that was a good one. You still got it.

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.

Jay

Can I sit around an empty house and wait for someone? Baby I'm a realtor. I have a license for that.

Phil