Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC

The iPad comes out on my actual birthday. It's like Steve Jobs and God got together to say, "we love you, Phil."

Phil: Remember the great Kevin Bacon on footloose?
Luke: More like Foot-loser.

Why do I have to watch a French movie, I didn't do anything wrong.

Haley: I'm kind hungry mom.
Phil: Oh my god she's back!

Luke: Smell Heather for me.
Phil: I always do...not.

Our daughter might be going to college!!!

Sad face emoticon! I can feel the hurt through the phone!

Prepare to Phil the agony of Dunfeat! Both names!

You're worried about germs? I've seen you kiss a pigeon on the mouth.

If you ain't white, you ain't right.

I have three kids and at least one of them is going to college. Worst case scenario, they all go!

She’s like a self-cleaning oven.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 308 in total

Modern Family Quotes

I'm sort of like Costco. I'm big, I'm not fancy and I dare you to not like me.


Phil: I'm just excited. After today you're going to be a councilwoman and I'm going to be a first husband.
Claire: If you don't stop filming, you're going to be MY first husband.