Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCPopular Phil Dunphy Quotes
Let me know if you run low on supplies, I'll take a quick trip to the 1950s for you.
You have nothing to fear, but fear itself... and the concrete.
Phil: Where's mom?
Phil's Dad: Mom is sinking fast.... she's in the bath tub.
Claire [to kids]: Which one of you was smoking?
Phil: Not me, I have a respiratory problem.
Claire: Obviously, not you.
Phil: Goodbye Dunphy Christmas. Haley, I guess you're not getting that car.
Haley: I was getting a car?
Phil: No, I was lying. Because that's what Dunphys do now, we're liars.
I guess the couch did it to itself. I guess it came home after a tough day, lit up a cigarette and burned itself. Is that what happened? Because that makes no sense.
Phil: I can forgive the smoking, but I can't forgive the lie.
[Claire glares at him]
Phil: Or the smoking.
Claire: We're gonna pass into legend. The parents who canceled Christmas.
Phil: I thought you'd be happy.
Claire: They'll write songs about us. They'll make a Christmas special with those ugly little clay pieces.
We raised our kids right. One of them will come forward, or the other two will rat them out.
If I never wake up, I'd hate for the last thing you ever said to me to be a lie.
This stuff's really hitting me. My insides feel like velvet.
Claire: I was out of control growing up, there you know, I said it. I just don't want my kids to make the same bad mistakes I made. If Hailey never wakes up on a beach in Florida half naked, I've done my job.
Phil: Our job.
Claire: Right, I've done our job
