Fry: Is it weird if I talk about his crazy turtle penis?
Bender: No.

Professor Farnsworth: I never thought I'd live to see this tree again. Thank you for staying with me, Fry.
Fry: I'm not Fry, I'm his great-great-grandson, Fry.
Professor Farnsworth: Wha?
Fry: My beak is different, see. It evolved a slightly bigger hook over the generations to eat the cactus on this part of the island.

Narrator: The new hatchlings are known as fry.
Amy: What's your name?
Fry: I don't have a name, I'm a salmon!

Fry: Congratulations, Bender. You've ended robot animal cruelty within a 20 yard radius of this building. You ready to call it a day, or do you have one more score to settle?
Bender: The second thing.

Fry: He always has time for me: whether it's sending me off on a delivery or pulling me aside and telling me I'm doing a bad job.

Let's hover-roll.

Bender: I gotta mope things over for a while.
Fry: What's happening?
Leela: I don't know. I think he's shuffling off sadly in the distance.
Fry: Oh lord.

Fry: Kill all modern humans!
Bender: Hey, this guy's alright!

So my sadness makes perfect sense. And I do have vague memories of people refusing to breed with me.

Fry: And the worst part is, I had to have the breakup sex by myself!
Bender: Fry, some of us have real problems! I just learned there are people with fancier sausage meats than me!

Man, all the fun has been taken out of this once-noble Barfapalooza!

Fry: Hey, Bender! You should become an executioner! You could kill humans and wear a cool hood.
Bender: Nah, I like my victims to know who did it.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 688 in total

Futurama Quotes

Farnsworth: (on the phone) Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? To shreds, you say. Well, how is his wife holding up? To shreds, you say. Very well then. (hangs up) Sad, sad, terrible, gruesome news about my colleague, Dr. Mobutu.
Leela: Was his apartment rent-controlled?

Professor: Oh God, I clicked without reading!
Cubert: And I slightly modified a thing that I own.
Professor: We're monsters!

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