Popular Pierce Hawthorne Quotes
Pierce [to Britta]: Have you thought about hypnotherapy? I know a great hypno therapist
Jeff [to Britta]: Ten to one says it's him
While you're under so deep, you'll find yourself attracted to... slightly older men. Perhaps some barrel-chested stud with just enough tummy to love. You want to buy him dinner then go back to his hot tub. Perhaps you'll invite one of your friends to join us for a three-way. Maybe someone with low self-esteem and slightly larger breasts.
Dean: I'm here to kick off the first day of a new tradition at our school called Green Week
Pierce: What? First we get a month of black history, now we're blowing seven days on the Irish.
Annie: Are you breaking up with the group?
Jeff: If that's what you want. [walks away]
Pierce: I've been divorced seven times. Turns off your cell phones and bury all your money in the backyard.
Annie [to Jeff]: You have to get Chang to call off some of this homework. You're the one with the silver tongue.
Pierce: Yeah, go tongue Chang.
Pierce: At some point a man stops looking for a place to hang his underwear and starts looking for a place to hang his hat.
Jeff: I'm sorry I was waiting for that to become inappropriate or racist.
Shirley: I made you all a little gift because you're like my new family.
Annie: WWBJD?
Pierce: If it stands for "What Would Billy Joel Do?", I'll tell you right now, he'd write another crappy song.
Troy: Yeah, in your face Billy Joel.
[Troy mouths who is that to Annie, who mouths back I don't know]
Shirley: It stands for "What Would Baby Jesus Do?"
Pierce: So what's the deal Jeff, you leave your stones in your other suit? Why didn't you wrap that guy in the face?
Jeff: For the same reason I floss, have a bed frame, and keep my guitar in its case. I'm over 23.
Britta: The real reason men fight is to release their pent-up gayness.
Pierce: That guy wasn't gay, he had a mustache.
Pierce: Agnostic, the lazy man's athiest. I'm a born again.
Sherry: Oh...
Pierce: We had a re-birthing ritual in my friend's hot tub. I'm now a level five laser lotus in my Buddhist community.
Britta: That does not sound like Buddhism, are you sure you're not in a cult?
Pierce: Just by asking that question, you put me down to a level four. You now owe me 2000 energon cubes.
Troy: Do you know how foolish you sound right now? What else do you believe in, blood transfusions?
Troy: You're pretty big dude, I bet you have some moves.
Jeff: Yeah I got some theories.
Abed: You've never been in a fight?
Jeff: Technically no. I guess I'm too charming and likeable. Call me a name.
Troy: I can't...
Pierce: You're telling me you've never been punched in the face?
Jeff: No, thank god. This is the money maker.
Abed: This is kinda like Breakfast Club, right?
Pierce: Is there breakfast?
