Rachel Green Quotes
Oh! I do not have chubby ankles!
Rachel: Ross, Chandler wrote something about me on his computer and he won't let me see.
Ross: He won't? (Realizes why) He won't!
Rachel: Ross kissed me.
Phoebe: No!
Monica: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!!
Rachel: It's unbelievable.
Monica: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!!
Phoebe: Ok, alright we wanna hear everything. Monica, get the wine and unplug the phone. Rachel, does this end well or do we need tissues?
Rachel: Ohhh it ended very well.
Monica: Do not start without me! Do not start without me!!
Phoebe: Alright, let's hear about the kiss. Was it like...was it like, a soft brush against your lips or was it like a, y'know, "I gotta have you now" kinda thing?
Rachel: Well, at first it was really intense, y'know, and then...oh god, and then we just sorta sunk into it...
Phoebe: Ohh, so, ok, was he like holding you or were is hands like, on your back?
Rachel: No, actually first they were--they started out on my waist... and then they slid up, and then they were in my hair...
Phoebe & Monica: Ohhh...
(Scene changes from the girls' apartment to the guys' in which they are eating pizza around the foosball table)
Ross: And then I, and then I kissed her.
Joey: Tongue?
Ross: Yeah.
Joey: Cool.
Rachel: Wait, so, you're going?
Ross: Well, okay, I, uh, I have to. I can't deal with this right now. I mean, I've, you know, got a cab. I've got a girlfriend. I'm gonna go get a cat.
Rachel: Okay, okay.
Ross: Cat. (Leaves)
Ross: How'd your date go?
Rachel: (Hungover) I think there was a restaurant. I know there was wine.
Ross: I was doing great with Julie before I found out about you.
Rachel: Hey, I was doing great before I found out about you. You think it's easy for me to see you with Julie?
Ross: Then you should have said something before I met her.
Rachel: I didn't know then. And how come you never said anything to me.
Ross: There was never a good time.
Rachel: Right, you, you only had a year. We only hung out every night.
Ross: Not, not, not every night. You know, and... and it's not like I didn't try, Rachel, but things got in the way, y'know? Like, like Italian guys or ex-fiances or, or, or Italian guys.
Rachel: Hey, there was one Italian guy, okay, and do you even have a point?
Ross: The point is I... I don't need this right now, okay. It, it's too late, I'm with somebody else, I'm happy. This ship has sailed.
Rachel: Yeah, what are you saying, you just sort of put away feelings or whatever the hell it was you felt for me?
Ross: Hey, I've been doing it since the ninth grade, I've gotten pretty damn good at it.
Ross, Hi, it's Rachel. I'm just calling to say that ,um, everything's fine and I'm really happy for you and your cat who, by the way, I think you should name Michael. And, you know,see there I'm thinking of names so obviously, I am over you. I am over you and that, my friend, is what they call closure.
Phoebe: (About Ross kissing Julie outside the window) Ooh, Rachel, don't look.
Rachel: What? (Looks) Come on you guys, I don't care, I have a date tonight.
Joey: Woah, you have a date?
Rachel: Yeah, Monica's setting me up.
Joey: But, what about, Ross and uh...?
Rachel: Oh what, my whole insane jealousy thing? Well, you know, as much fun as that was, I've decided to opt for sanity.
Chandler: So you really okay about all this?
Rachel: Oh yeah, come on. I'm moving on. He can press her up against that window as much as he wants. For all I care, he can throw her through the damn thing.
Michael: I don't know if Monica told you. but this is the first date I've gone on since my divorce. So, if I seem a little nervous, I am.
Rachel: (Distractedly) How long do cats live?
Michael: (Confused) I'm sorry?
Rachel: Cats, how long do they live figuring you don't... you know, throw them under a bus or something?
Michael: Um, maybe fifteen, sixteen years.
Terry is a jerk, okay? That's why we're always saying "Terry's a jerk!" That's where that came from.
Terry: Rachel, it's not that your friend is bad, it's ... it's that she's so bad, she makes me want to put my finger through my eye, into my brain, and swirl it around!
Rachel: Okay ... so you're not a fan ...
Rachel: Well, people missed you in there. And in fact, there was actually a request for "Smelly Cat."
Phoebe: Really? From who?
Rachel: Well, from me. And I know it's not your big money song, but it's my favorite.
