Bernadette: I don't when I became the mother to three lazy teenagers, but it stops today. You guys are cleaning the kitchen top to bottom.
Raj: Hey, I don't even live here!
Bernadette: Yes or no, do you have clothes in my laundry right now?

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Raj: You two are as afraid of hurting someone's feelings as I am.
Bernadette: That's not true. We were just laughing right in your face.

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Leonard: I'm not going to make a fake appointment with a psychiatrist. What would I say is wrong with me?
Koothrappali: Low self esteem.
Howard: Social anxiety.
Sheldon: Sexual insecurity.
Leonard: None of that is true.
Penny: Denial. See sweetie, the list goes on and on.

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Siebert: Hey fellas, can you do me a favor?
Raj: Do we have a choice?
Siebert: HA HA! No.

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Raj: You're allowed to get a haircut.
Amy: I know. But I should've done it gradually. Y'know, like, maybe three hundred tiny haircuts over a ten year period.

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Leonard: I'm done enabling him. Like, this is HIS spot. And the thermostat has to be set to his comfort level even though he doesn't even live here anymore and I'm always chilly.
Raj: Is that why you wear a hoodie all the time?
Leonard: YES.

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Raj: Please if you have any problems, any questions, call me immediately, okay? She's my baby.
Bert: It shouldn't come up but just in case... Where could I buy a dog that looks exactly like her? Kidding. If she dies, I'll just tell you.

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