Raj: Woh, woh, woh! I don't want to speak to the FBI.
Leonard: Why not?
Raj: I'm brown and I talk funny.

Leonard: Hi. I'm Leonard. You are beautiful. You pop, sparkle and buzz electric. I'm going to pick you up at eight, show you a night you will never forget.
Raj: Where are we going?

Please don't send me back to India! It's so crowded. It's like the whole country is one endless Comic-Con, except everyone's wearing the same costume -- Indian Guy.

Wolowitz: What kind of spaceship has a hole in the middle?
Raj: A Romulan battle bagel?

Wolowitz: He got bit by a radioactive rat.
Raj: Did he get superpowers?
Wolotiz: No, he got five stitches and a tetanus shot.

Leonard wake up! You're missing some very excellent superhero quips!

Hey, why am I in charge with phone support? Seems a bit racist.

Leonard's going all alpha-nerd on Sheldon's ass!

Raj: Last night I had a dream we got so rich from the app, you and I bought matching side by side mansions. But there was a secret tunnel connecting your front yard to my back yard. What do you think that means?
Howard: It means that after we play handball I'm showering at home.

I'd like to raise two points, #1 I think they are talking about penises, and #2 these Mimosas are kicking my little brown ass.

Howard: Oh I'm not hot enough for Angelina Jolie?
Raj: I'd like to weigh in here: No.

Sheldon [to Kripke]: Also, I am given to understand that your mother is overweight.
Raj: Oh, snap.
Sheldon: Now of course, if that is the result of a glandular condition and not sloth and gluttony then I withdraw that comment.

TBBT Quotes

Oh, Bernadette, please play my clarinet.

Raj's poem

Sheldon: I'll have a diet Coke.
Penny: Can you please order a cocktail? I need to practice mixing drinks.
Sheldon: Fine... I'll have a virgin Cuba Libre.
Penny: That's... rum and Coke without the rum.
Sheldon: Yes, and would you make it diet?