The Big Bang Theory

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The big bang theory
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Leonard: How can you have a girlfriend you can't even speak to women?
Raj: Two words: deaf chick. It doesn't matter if i can't talk cause she can't hear me.
Leonard: What?
Raj: That's what she said.

When I call him his phone plays Browned Eyed Girl. Which now what I think about it is not so good.

Wolowitz: Why do you even want this here? Its size is completely disproportionate to its purpose!
Raj: Considering its purpose was to piss you off, I'd say it's spot on.

Leonard: Did you guys see the paper in the American Physics Journal on supersolids? It's pretty interesting. This guy's working from a hypothesis which ...
Raj: Spoiler alert! Spoiler alert!
Leonard: What?
Raj: Don't ruin it for me, man! I printed out a PDF to read on the potty.

Raj: You slipped and fell into a robot hand?
Wolowitz: Yes.
Raj: Penis first?
Wolowitz: Yes. Now help me!
Leonard: I'd suggest a lubricant, but I have a feeling you fell on some of that as well.

Howard wanted to write "mumbo jumbo," but I said no, our Sheldon would say "hokum."

I'm telling you, dude. The only way to feel better about Penny going out with other guys is for you to get back on the whores.

Go away! She wants New Delhi, not Kosher Deli!

Leonard: You still have a cold?
Raj: Maybe, but I don't care. That's the good thing about NyQuil -- it's like, 10% booze. I call it the "nighttime sniffling, sneezing, coughing, so you can talk to girls medicine."

Raj: Do you think you'll go to hell for eating sweet and sour pork?
Wolowitz: Jews don't have Hell. We have acid reflux.

Does the elastic woman in "The Incredibles" use birth control or can she actually be a diaphragm.

Raj: Ahh, the premature I love you.
Wolowitz: : I guessed premature, does that count?

Displaying quotes 205 - 216 of 299 in total

TBBT Quotes

Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.

Sheldon

Raj: Okay, here's another one: if a zombie bites a vampire, and the vampire bites a human, does the human become a vampire or a zombie? Or, a zompire?

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