I know the feeling. It's like accidentally walking into a gay bar and then having no one hit on you. It happened to a friend of mine.

Howard: Oh I'm not hot enough for Angelina Jolie?
Raj: I'd like to weigh in here: No.

I'd like to raise two points, #1 I think they are talking about penises, and #2 these Mimosas are kicking my little brown ass.

Raj: Last night I had a dream we got so rich from the app, you and I bought matching side by side mansions. But there was a secret tunnel connecting your front yard to my back yard. What do you think that means?
Howard: It means that after we play handball I'm showering at home.

Leonard's going all alpha-nerd on Sheldon's ass!

Hey, why am I in charge with phone support? Seems a bit racist.

Leonard wake up! You're missing some very excellent superhero quips!

Wolowitz: He got bit by a radioactive rat.
Raj: Did he get superpowers?
Wolotiz: No, he got five stitches and a tetanus shot.

Wolowitz: What kind of spaceship has a hole in the middle?
Raj: A Romulan battle bagel?

Please don't send me back to India! It's so crowded. It's like the whole country is one endless Comic-Con, except everyone's wearing the same costume -- Indian Guy.

Leonard: Hi. I'm Leonard. You are beautiful. You pop, sparkle and buzz electric. I'm going to pick you up at eight, show you a night you will never forget.
Raj: Where are we going?

Raj: Woh, woh, woh! I don't want to speak to the FBI.
Leonard: Why not?
Raj: I'm brown and I talk funny.

TBBT Quotes

You can't ruin a friendship with sex that's like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles.

Raj

Sheldon: Even the dung beetle chooses to plot its course by using the Milky Way.
Raj: Is that true?
Sheldon: Everything I say is true. Now, of course, the dung beetle also enjoys eating fece, living in feces and making little balls out of feces. So, pick and choose which aspects of its lifestyle you want to embrace.