Cute is for puppies. I want to be something sexy, like a labradoodle.

I know the feeling. It's like accidentally walking into a gay bar and then having no one hit on you. It happened to a friend of mine.

Howard: Oh I'm not hot enough for Angelina Jolie?
Raj: I'd like to weigh in here: No.

I'd like to raise two points, #1 I think they are talking about penises, and #2 these Mimosas are kicking my little brown ass.

Raj: Last night I had a dream we got so rich from the app, you and I bought matching side by side mansions. But there was a secret tunnel connecting your front yard to my back yard. What do you think that means?
Howard: It means that after we play handball I'm showering at home.

Leonard's going all alpha-nerd on Sheldon's ass!

Hey, why am I in charge with phone support? Seems a bit racist.

Leonard wake up! You're missing some very excellent superhero quips!

Wolowitz: He got bit by a radioactive rat.
Raj: Did he get superpowers?
Wolotiz: No, he got five stitches and a tetanus shot.

Wolowitz: What kind of spaceship has a hole in the middle?
Raj: A Romulan battle bagel?

Please don't send me back to India! It's so crowded. It's like the whole country is one endless Comic-Con, except everyone's wearing the same costume -- Indian Guy.

Leonard: Hi. I'm Leonard. You are beautiful. You pop, sparkle and buzz electric. I'm going to pick you up at eight, show you a night you will never forget.
Raj: Where are we going?

TBBT Quotes

I was expecting applause but I suppose stunned silence is equally appropriate.

Sheldon

Sheldon: Nothing more fun than a paradigm shifting evening of science.
Penny: (to Leonard) And you thought it was soaping me up in the shower.