Rajesh "Raj" Koothrappali Quotes
Raj: You slipped and fell into a robot hand?
Raj: Penis first?
Wolowitz: Yes. Now help me!
Leonard: I'd suggest a lubricant, but I have a feeling you fell on some of that as well.
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Howard wanted to write "mumbo jumbo," but I said no, our Sheldon would say "hokum."
- Permalink: Howard wanted to write mumbo jumbo, but I said no, our Sheldon w...
I'm telling you, dude. The only way to feel better about Penny going out with other guys is for you to get back on the whores.
- Permalink: I'm telling you, dude. The only way to feel better about Penny g...
Go away! She wants New Delhi, not Kosher Deli!
- Permalink: Go away! She wants New Delhi, not Kosher Deli!
Leonard: You still have a cold?
Raj: Maybe, but I don't care. That's the good thing about NyQuil -- it's like, 10% booze. I call it the "nighttime sniffling, sneezing, coughing, so you can talk to girls medicine."
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Raj: Do you think you'll go to hell for eating sweet and sour pork?
Wolowitz: Jews don't have Hell. We have acid reflux.
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Does the elastic woman in "The Incredibles" use birth control or can she actually be a diaphragm.
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Raj: Ahh, the premature I love you.
Wolowitz: : I guessed premature, does that count?
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Wolowitz: Okay forgot giant ants. How about giant rabbits?
Raj: Big or small, I don't like rabbits. They always look like they're about to say something, but they never do.
Sheldon: Rabbits do have a respiratory system that would support great size. And as a side note, they are one of the few animals whose scrotum is on the front of the penis.
Raj: Maybe that's what they want to talk about.
- Permalink: Okay forgot giant ants. How about giant rabbits? Big or small,...
Raj: These methods come from the ancient gurus of India, and have helped me conquer my own fears.
Sheldon: And yet you can't speak to women.
Raj: True, but thanks to meditation, I am able to stay in the same room with them without urinating.
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Sheldon: I can't give a speech.
Wolowitz: No, you're mistaken. You give speeches all the time. What you can't do is shut up.
Raj: Before the movie, you did twenty minutes on why guacamole turns brown. It turned brown while you were talking.
- Permalink: I can't give a speech. No, you're mistaken. You give speeches ...
Raj: In Avatar, when they have sex on pandora they hook up their ponytails, so we know that their ponytails are like their junk.
Wolowitz: Yeah, so?
Raj: So when they ride horses and fly on the birds, they also use their ponytails...
Wolowitz: What's your point?
Raj: My point is if I were a horse or a bird, I'd be very nervous around James Cameron.
- Permalink: In Avatar, when they have sex on pandora they hook up their pony...
Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.
Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.Sheldon