Popular Ray Hueston Quotes
Ray: You can't do that. That's illegal.
Jonathan: I say that I'm not license. And that makes it more legal... ish.
I have a real phobia around my ass.
Jonathon: I can help people.
Ray: Are you delusional?
When I'm with her, I'm going to eat vegan, but when I'm not with her, I'm going to eat like an American.
(to Ray before his colonic) Don't be scared. It will a good experience for you, I promise. I am going to find all your treasures.
Yousef
Yousef: (looking at Jonathan's black eye then to Ray) Lovers quarrel?
Jonathan: Ummm...more or less.
Leah: I don't feel good about this. I don't want you to be a sperm donor.
Ray: But it's flattering. They're fans of my work. I've never had lesbian fans before.
Leah: They should go to a sperm bank. You can't just give your sperm to two girls you met in a cafe.
Ray: I met you in a cafe.
Ray: Okay. I'll trade you therapy for sex. It's been almost three weeks.
Leah: I think it's sweet you know how long it's been. (goes to Ray and hugs him)
Leah: I'm proud of you for going to therapy. (kisses Ray who doesn't kiss back)
Ray: I'm sorry, I can't tonight. That guy eviscerated me. My penis is totally recessed.
Leah: What?!
Ray: When I was a little kid, I used to like to push my penis in to make it look like it disappeared. Today, it happened all by itself.
Jonathan: Where's Ray?
Leah: He's in the bathroom masturbating.
Jonathan: What?
Ray: I'm almost done. Just three more tugs.
Leah: Her name's Allison. She's a radical vegan.
Lisa: I know a lot of radical vegans. She must be really lonely.
I never should have started dating a woman with kids. I have to be the only child in a woman's life.
