Popular Red Forman Quotes
Eric, I love your grandmother very, very much. I just can't talk to her or spend any time with her.
Red: I want you to pick out this year's tree. And whatever you don't spend, you can use for your party.
Eric: Look, Dad, you know how much I hate haggling with those tree...
Red: Haggling is part of being an adult. Here's 40 dollars.
Eric: I want 50.
Red: Knock it off!
Red: You were screwing around. You backed into a hydrant. I can see the paint marks!
Eric: No! And by no I mean exactly. But it wasn't my fault sir, Kelso was giving me a...
Red: A what?
Eric: Kelso was giving me a purple-nurple. It's when you grab someone's nipple through their shirt and twist it really hard... until it becomes purple.
Responsible people don't go around getting their nipples twisted.
Red: We're going to kill each other.
Kitty: Well, fine. Kill each other. Just do it together.
I can't be friends with Eric. He's too... twitchy.
Without rules, we might as well all be up in a tree, flinging our crap at each other.
Red: Damn good thing I went with him. He wanted to buy a leisure suit.
Eric: Come on, Dad. Leisure suits are cool. Everybody wears them.
Red: Leisure suits are for dumbasses. Believe me.
(Bob walks in wearing a leisure suit)
Kitty (to Eric): Foreplay is very important.
Red: Oh, no it's not.
Kitty (to Red): Yes, it is.
Red: You can hit him in the groin.
Bob: You can hit him in the groin with a banjo.
Bob: Hit him with a banjo!
Red: A banjo, Bob?
Bob: Yeah.
Red: Where is he gonna get a banjo?
Bob: I don't know. But I saw a guy get hit with a banjo once, and he went down!
Red: Are you on dope? Are you?
Kitty: Because, because, we can help get you clean. There's counseling, hospitalization--
Red: My foot kicking your ass.
