Favorite Richard Gilmore Quotes
(Emily is silent in the car)
Richard: Emily?
Emily: She's right. I don't know my daughter at all.
Emily: Well I just don't understand why you waited so late to call! Are you sure? Fine! Alright, yes! Goodbye (hangs up the phone).
Richard: What's the problem, Emily?
Emily: The problem is, that apparently Florence could not get here because of the storm.
Richard: Florence?
Emily: Our cook.
Richard: Ah. Well, we'll just have to go out then.
Emily: Please, Richard pay attention. We can't go out, it's miserable out there.
Richard: Well we'll figure something out dear.
Emily: What?! What will we figure out? I hate the damn snow!
Richard: Emily, calm down.
Emily: This is a serious problem. These Friday night dinners are the only proper food that child eats all week.
Richard: (Calls out to Rory who's sitting in the dining room) Rory? Are you in any way malnurished or in need of some international relief organization to recrute a celebrity to raise money on your account?
Rory: I'm good.
Richard: She's good, Emily.
Emily: Your sense of humor rears its ugly head at the oddest of times, Richard.
Richard: I'm not the mastermind behind some great scheme to spoil your dinner plans and I don't care to be treated as such.
Emily: So you're fine with having no dinner tonight, is that it?
Richard: I certainly am not.
Rory: (enters from the dining room) How 'bout I check the fridge? I'm sure there's something in there we could whip up.
Emily: Whip up? (says it like it's a new concept)
Rory: Yeah, come on. It'll be fun, I promise.
Emily: Well come on Mr.-We'll-Figure-It-Out! (they're all standing in front of the refridgerator) Nothing!
Richard: Not a blessed thing.
Rory: There's frozen pizza!
Emily: How in the world did that get there?
Rory: Maybe you bought it and forgot about it.
Emily: I have never bought frozen pizza, it must belong to Anna.
Richard: The maid?
Emily: Yes.
Richard: Ah, got one!
Emily: (Rory pulls the pizza out) What are you doing?
Rory: I'm gonna make it.
Emily: Oh Rory, you're not serious.
Richard: That hardly looks like dinner.
Emily: I agree. Rory, that's food you eat a carnival, or in a Turkish prison.
Rory: I promise you're gonna love it.
Emily: But-
Rory: Listen. Just leave it up to me. You guys go back into the living room and I'll call you when it's ready. (Emily and Richard both give in and get ready to leave) Hey Grandma.
Emily: (she and Richard both turn around) Yes?
Rory: What are the odds of you knowing where a cookie sheet would be?
Richard: I'd say very slim (Emily gives him a death glare).
Rory: Okay, never mind. I'll find it.
Emily: (looks at Richard before they leave) Very slim? Thank you for that.
Richard: Now, what do you know about golf?
Rory: That it's a good walk spoiled.
Richard: Rory! Who's your friend?
Rory: I don't know, but this is Tristan.
Lorelai: (to her parents) You're both going to hell, I hope you realize that.
Richard: At least we'll be well rested.
Rory: She caught him in the pool house with the tennis pro, not the riding instructor.
Richard: I had no idea.
Rory: That committee of yours is not looking at people as much as you think.
Richard: Oh, why would they? From what you've told me, they're all involved in one nefarious activity after another.
Rory: It's a conspiracy.
Richard: It's Peyton Place. Is there more?
Rory: Can you handle it?
Richard: Oh, I'll steel myself.
Rory: Okay, Mr. Neville likes all things frilly.
Richard: Good God, he's my broker.
Rory: I don't think one will affect the other.
Lorelai: Rory just dressed up in a cute apron the other day, and so I was just teasing her about it.
Richard: Why did you get dressed up in an apron?
Lorelai: W..well, we decided to give up on that pesky Harvard dream and focus on something more realistic. Mom, dad, Rory's decided to become a maid, just like I was.
Emily: Is that funny? (to Richard) Did you think that was funny?
Richard: What would have possessed you to say such a thing?!
Emily: And in front of Rory?!
Lorelai: I was kidding.
Emily: God, my heart stopped!
Lorelai: (To Rory) Why don't you tell them about your bird? That seems like a safe subject.
(dinner at Emily and Richard's)
Lorelai: Mmm, kickass wine.
Emily: How poetic!
Lorelai: It's got a nice smell. Earthy, vibrant, you can taste the Italian's feet.
Richard: Well, it's a Bordeaux, it's French.
Lorelai: Ha, what's an Italian's foot doing in a French wine?
Richard: Lorelai, what are you going to take away from this? That everything that happened in the past is suddenly fine because I defended you?
Lorelai: No.
Richard: That the hell you put your mother and me through over the past 16 years is suddenly washed away? Well, it's not!
Lorelai: We've all been through hell, Dad.
Richard: I had to tell my friends, my colleagues, that my only daughter, the brightest in her class, was pregnant and leaving school.
Lorelai: That must have been devastating.
Richard: Then you ran away and treated us as lepers. Your mother couldn't get out of bed for a month! Did you know that? Did you?
Lorelai: No.
Richard: We did nothing to deserve that! Nothing to earn that!
Lorelai: All right, I get it. I'm horrible. So why don't you disown me and adopt Christopher? You love him.
Richard: Oh, don't be a martyr, Lorelai. And don't be naive. Do you think I love the boy who got my daughter pregnant? I wanted to kill him. I would have, too, with my bare hands! But there was a proper procedure to be followed in a situation like this.
Lorelai: Marriage.
Richard: Christopher was willing to follow the plan we laid out. You weren't.
Lorelai: What about what I wanted? Dad, didn't that mean anything to you?
Richard: Sometimes, one has to sacrifice something in order to do what is right.
Lorelai: (speechless) I.....I feel indescribably sad for you right now, Dad.
Richard: Well, save your emotions, Lorelai. I've had quite enough of them tonight.
Lorelai: I'm sorry. Dad, how do you mix up Anton and Sophia?
Richard: What do you mean?
Lorelai: Well, one is a man and one is a woman.
Richard: And your point being?
Lorelai: That one is a man and one is a woman.
Richard: I have a lot to do in a day, Lorelai. I don't have time to keep up with the multitudes of people that your mother employs.
Lorelai: But one is a man and one is a woman.
Emily: (patting Rory) This little girl likes you.
Richard: Well, she has good taste.
