Favorite Richard Gilmore Quotes
Rory: So, Grandpa, what's new in the world today?
Richard: Well, as usual, it's going to hell in a handbasket.
Rory: It's nice to always have something you can count on.
Emily: So, what would everyone like to drink?
Lorelai: Uh, well, I'll have a white wine and Dean'll have a beer.
Dean: What?! (taken by surprise)
Lorelai: Corona, right?
Dean: (completely panicked) No, I don't want a beer! I don't drink beer. I'll have water or soda or anything. Or nothing. Not beer. Never beer. Beer is... beer's bad.
Emily: Relax Dean, that's just Lorelai's little sense of humor. (to Lorelai) You're very cruel.
Lorelai: Well, yes, keeps me young.
Dean: I'm just gonna sit here and stare at my hands.
Emily: Soda Dean?
Dean: Please.
Emily: Rory?
Rory: Oh, I'll have a beer. (Emily and Lorelai laugh) I'm sorry Dean, we're not laughing at you.
Lorelai: Oh wait, I think I was.
Emily: I think I was a little too. (Richard walks in) Oh Richard, there you are. Come join us.
Lorelai: Hey Dad.
Rory: Grandpa, hi. This is Dean. Dean, this is my Grandpa.
Dean: Hi. Sorry, uh, hi. (he gets ups and walks over to Richard)
Richard: Hello.
Dean: (offers to shake his hand) It's uh... it's nice to meet...
Richard: (ignores Dean's hand) Does everyone have drinks?
Lorelai: Uh yeah, we all have drinks. Thanks.
Dean: (he moves back to his seat and whispers to Lorelai) Should we do the beer thing again?
Lorelai: Uh, I don't think so.
Emily: You're here! Richard, they're here!
Richard: Wonderful!
Emily: Come in, come in, come in!
Lorelai: Ah, no.
Emily: Why?
Lorelai: You're scaring Rory.
Richard: You know, when I was ten years old I knew exactly where I wanted to work.
Lorelai: Well, that's because you were always picked last for dodgeball.
Emily: William is a lovely boy.
Richard: His head is shaped like a football.
Emily: It is not.
Richard If he fell asleep in the park someone would try to punt him.
Lorelai: What about Dad?
Emily: We're starting without him.
Lorelai: Why? He's the one with the six o'clock flight. We don't have to go anywhere. We could stay all night. Kick back, do some jello shots, play light as a feather, sitff as a board...
Richard: You started without me!
Emily: You don't want your granddaughter admitted to society?
Richard: To hell with society! (to a table of people) And yes, I'm talking about you!
Emily: Oh, Richard, I didn't know you were home!
Richard: Yes, well you learn something new everyday.
Richard: Lorelai, this is just beautiful. It's like something out of architectural digest, you should be very proud.
Lorelai: Thanks, Dad.
Emily: Lorelai, your dress needs pressing.
Lorelai: Thanks, Mom.
(Lorelai rushes through the front door followed by Richard)
Lorelai: Rory, we're home!
Richard: Next time, stop the car completely before you get out.
Lorelai: Rory, for the love of God, be home!
Rory: I'm here, sorry! I was on the phone. How was your... (Lorelai wraps Rory in her arms and hugs her very tightly) Ooh, okay.
Lorelai: I don't think I've ever loved you quite as much as I love you right now.
Rory: Ah, ribs cracking, organs crushing.
Lorelai: Yeah, well, love hurts.
Lorelai: So, Dad, how's retired life treating you?
Richard: Well, fascinating actually! I find myself noticing things, everyday things that I must've witnessed a hundred times before and just walked right pass. Like yesterday your mother moved a vase, the one in the hall, and see didn't do it in front of me
Lorelai: No, no! 'Cause nice girls never move vases in front of men.
Richard: (ignoring Lorelai's comment) and she only moved it a little, but as I passed it by I noticed it had been moved!
Rory: Impressive!
Richard: And everyday is a new discovery! Your mother changed her hair, or she wore shoes that didn't match her purse!
Emily: Richard!
Richard: Last Thursday!
Emily: Oh, for heaven's sake!
Richard: Lorelai?
Lorelai: Yes, Dad?
Richard: May I speak to you for a moment?
Michel: (under his breath; in a sing-song voice) Someone is in trouble.
