Robin: Look at me, I've sworn off relationships.Marshall: She is so about to get married.
Ted: I gotta work on my toast.
Marshall: I gotta make sure my tux fits!
Robin: I will bang your heads together like coconuts.
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Barney: See the blonde over there by the bar? Tizzarget acquizzired!
Robin: Barney, don't do this ...
Barney: Oh, give it a rest, pest.
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Marshall: You know how many times I've gone looking for frozen waffles in the freezer but there are none?
Robin: Thousands?
Marshall: Millions.
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Barney: We both like scotch. We're both awesome.
Robin: Maybe that's the problem. Maybe there's just too much awesome here.
Barney: Yes. Two awesomes cancel each other out. I'm tired of being canceled out.
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Robin: Neil Young is a Canadian treasure. DO NOT make fun of Neil Young.
Barney: Robin, I would never make fun of a defenseless old lady with vocal cord paralysis.
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Robin: We watched a movie last night
Barney: It was legen... wait for it... gends of the fall. Not that good.
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Barney: He's not a doll, he's a storm trooper
Robin: Then why's he wearing a diaper?
Barney: That's not a diaper, that's protective armor
Robin: More like storm pooper
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Robin [about their old neighbors bagpiping]: They're old?
Ted: Really old
Robin: So what did you do?
Ted: I didn't have the heart to tell them to stop, because, hey, good for them. So I just sat down, had a hard candy, nodded politely at some racist comments and left
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Robin [to Barney]: Why is there bag of panties labeled "April 2006" in your closet?
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Robin: Okay, this is ridiculous. I can't believe these two are still bagpiping
Ted: Enough! It's been six hours1 It must be that new tantric bagpiping that Sting is into
Robin: She keeps yelling at him to play the bigpipes louder, but it sounds like she's bagpiping him pretty hard. There's a glass of water in my bedroom that's vibrating like Jurassic Park
Ted: You have neighbors, so shut the bagpipes up!
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 173
