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Robin: I love Patrice, we're like sisters.
Ted: You've never gotten through even one exchange without screaming at her.
Robin: Sisters fight Ted!

There is a dark side to being a rocker on the road north of the 49th!

Ted: If called upon, I'd be honored to raise Marvin.
Robin: If you want him to be raised by his underwear on a flagpole, Teds your guy. If you want him pulling the cord on some other nerds panties, I'm your guy.

Red: Victoria keeps tampons at my apartment.
Robin: Damn it!

Oh Hero Ted, he loves that move.

Aren't you tired of waiting for destiny Ted?

Robin: If I stole a scalpel and I cut you open, all I would find is this scared trembling pile of crap.
Ted: See I've missed these talks.

Robin: That was not cool Ted.
Lily: Contraction!
Robin: That wasn't cool Ted?

Oh we're bustin' apple bags? I can bust apple bags.

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