Barney: Our wedding is gonna be legendary.
Robin: No wait for it?
Barney: I've got you, I don't have to wait for it anymore.

Robin: A week from today we are going to be legend, wait for it...
Barney: Married!

I'm not a virgin! My napkin ring has seen plenty of breadsticks and one baguette. I dated a center from the Knicks.

Robin: Marshall it doesn't matter. Cause you'd lose anyway and you know why? Cause I'm Sparkles bitch!
Marshall: Oh and you think you can to me? You think you could step up to the streets? To me? You think you could step up, over me, to the streets?

Robin: He's looking for Lily. Should I give him her number?
Marshall: Yeah we've already discussed it. It's four million dollars cash.

Lily: You took my infant child to a strip club?
Robin: It was just topless!

Robin: I love Patrice, we're like sisters.
Ted: You've never gotten through even one exchange without screaming at her.
Robin: Sisters fight Ted!

There is a dark side to being a rocker on the road north of the 49th!

Ted: If called upon, I'd be honored to raise Marvin.
Robin: If you want him to be raised by his underwear on a flagpole, Teds your guy. If you want him pulling the cord on some other nerds panties, I'm your guy.

Red: Victoria keeps tampons at my apartment.
Robin: Damn it!

Oh Hero Ted, he loves that move.

Aren't you tired of waiting for destiny Ted?

HIMYM Quotes

Barney: Ladies and gentlemen, I have in my hand a copy of tonight's Top Ten list. The category: top ten things I would've called my truck...
Ted: It was never your truck.
Barney: if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back.
Ted: It was a rental.
Barney: Number ten, "The Winne-Bango." Number nine, "The Pick-Up Truck." Number eight, "The Ford Explore Her." Number seven, "The You Scream Truck." You Scream. (they all laugh) Number six, "Feels on Wheels!" Hello! Number five, "The Ride Her Truck." Number four, "The 18-Squeeler." Number three, "The Esca-Laid." Number two, "The Slam-Boney." and... the number one thing I would've called my truck if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back... "The '69 Chevy."

Sometimes things have to fall apart to make way for better things...we're done here.

Ted