Robin Scherbatsky Quotes
Dear Marshall,
I do not like that stupid hat.
I want to beat it... with a bat.
Or maybe stab it with a fork.
It makes you look like such a dork
Ted: Robin, could I hear yours?
Robin: "Dear Ted, it's 'encyclo-pee-dia', not 'encyclo-pay-dia'. Why do you always say things in the most pretentious way possible? It makes you sound douchey—and that's 'douch-ey', not 'douch-ay'."
Ted: Yeah, you already read that one at my Pronunciation intervention. Where's the letter about Stella?
Robin: I didn't write one. I'm your ex-girlfriend. I figured anything I said on the subject would sound catty. Plus, I'm hotter than her, so who cares?
Robin: Stella's not gonna let you keep half of this junk.
Ted: Why wouldn't she?
Lily: Oh, Ted, oh, sweetie. Okay, here's the thing that guys only learn after they move in with a woman. All of your stuff is stupid
Robin: I'm moving to Japan. It took me a half hour to pack.
Lily: A half hour?
Robin: Well, it would have taken me 20 minutes, but a friend called me in tears
Lily: You hated that job.
Robin: It wasn't that bad.
Lily: What did they make you call Tropical Storm Hector when they said it was raining "cats and dogs?"
Robin: A furricane.
Marshall: Hey, Ted, "Rock Me Like a Furricane"
Ted: Tony broke up with you?
Stella: He said it was because of something you said.
Robin: You got Tony to dump Stella?!? I am very sorry, but I'm going to have to insist that you bump this.
Robin: Let's make a pact, if we both turn 40 and we're both single..
Ted: Robin Scherbatsky, will you be my backup wife?
Robin: A girl always dreams of hearing those words. Yes, yes, a million times, yes!
Hi, Ted. Hi, Lily. Don't worry, I won't tell Marshall.
Ted: Where does this woman live?
Robin: We're talking about a woman that actually Barney Stinson to commit, I'm guessing Narnia
Barney: Lottery girl's on.
Robin: I just feel sorry for these women. This is where broadcast careers go to die.
Barney: Check it out, I made a little game.
Lottery Girl: And tonight's lotto numbers are: 19,
Barney: Age you moved to New York after a photographer "discovered" you at a food court and said he would get you into Vogue Magazine.
Lotto Girl: 53,
Barney: Number of semi-nude pictures he took of you before you realized he had no connection to Vogue Magazine.
Lotto Girl: 22,
Barney: Age you claim you are.
Lotto Girl: 31,
Barney: Age you actually are.
Lotto Girl: 45,
Barney: Number of minutes it would take me to get you into a cab, out of your dress and into my Jacuzzi.
Lotto Girl: And tonight's Super Big Ball is...
Barney: What happens after we get out of the Jacuzzi. What Up!
Robin: Let me ask you something, Ted... why are you so much madder at Barney than me?
Lily: Yeah... she had just as much sex with Barney as Barney had with her!
Robin: You know what, I'm not sure that's true
[Marshall's cell phone rings]
Marshall: Hey buddy...I'm married Barney, I cannot be your new wingman.
[Robin's cell phone rings]
Robin: No
