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Parks-and-recreation

History began July 4th, 1776. Anything before that was a mistake.

Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing.

I believe luck is a concept invented by the weak to explain their failures.

I have cried twice in my life. Once when I was seven and I was hit by a school bus. And then again when I heard that Li'l Sebastian had passed.

I'm going to type every word I know! Rectangle. America. Megaphone. Monday. Butthole.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself. He's a grown man. Fishing's not that hard.

Ron: Okay, here's the situation.
Leslie: Your parents went away on a week's vacation and left the keys to the brand new Porsche? I'll just take it for a little spin and maybe show it off to a couple of friends. That's when I saw this beautiful girlie girl walking. I picked up my car phone to perpetrate like I was talking. this girl's hand was steadily moving up my thigh. She had opened up three buttons on her shirt so far. I guess that's why I didn't notice that police car. Well parents are the same no matter time nor place, so to you other kids all across the land, no need to worry, parents just don't understand!
Ron: Someone is on fire in Ramsett Park. They need you to get down there right away.

Ron: I'll have number eight.
Waiter: That's a party platter.
Ron: I know what I am, son.

If I wanted to bring a large number of deviled eggs, but I didn't want to share them with anyone else, can you guarantee fridge space?

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