Leslie: Why would anybody ever eat anything besides breakfast food?
Ron: People are idiots, Leslie.

Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing.

I believe luck is a concept invented by the weak to explain their failures.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself. He's a grown man. Fishing's not that hard.

Ron: Anne was getting a little chummy. When people get a little too chummy with me I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don't really care about them.
April: That's a really nice move.
Ron: Thank you.
April: You're welcome Lester.

I'm going to type every word I know! Rectangle. America. Megaphone. Monday. Butthole.

History began July 4th, 1776. Anything before that was a mistake.

Ron: You may have thought you heard me say I wanted a lot of bacon and eggs, but what I said was: Give me all the bacon and eggs you have.

I have cried twice in my life. Once when I was seven and I was hit by a school bus. And then again when I heard that Li'l Sebastian had passed.

I wish this office had only walls.

Ben: Every department's losing a Leslie Knope.
Ron: No, Ben. They are not. No other department has one to begin with. Right now, she's single-handedly putting up some lousy concert for this city's kids.

Citizen: So your department banned me from attending games just because I yell "you suck" at the players.
Ron: According to the complaint, you yelled it at 5-year-old girls.
Citizen: Who suck! Why is that so hard to understand!

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Leslie: Why would anybody ever eat anything besides breakfast food?
Ron: People are idiots, Leslie.