Leslie: We have a criminal emergency on our hands. Someone planted a gateway drug in the community garden.
Ron: Call the cops.
Leslie: Then it will leak to the press. Then there will be an investigation, and they'll find my fingerprints on the manure, and then we'll lose our funding.
Ron: You don't have funding.
Leslie: We never will if this gets out.

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Parks and Recreation Season 2 Episode 2 Quotes

Cop: What branch of government are you in?
Leslie: Parks and Recreation.
Cop: Parks and Recreation.
Leslie: Yes. Parks and recreation. Did I STUTTER?

April: I had to wait until my dad fell asleep so I could steal his keys. you ready?
Ron: I was born ready. I'm Ron F*%king Swanson.