Favorite Ross Geller Quotes
Joey: What are you talking about? "One woman." That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you. Let me tell you something, Ross. There's lots of flavors out there. There's Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bing! Cherry Vanilla. You could get 'em with Jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream! This is the best thing that ever happened to you! You got married, you were, like, what, eight? Welcome back to the world! Grab a spoon!
Ross: I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny.
Chandler: Then stay out of my freezer.
Ross: (Eavesdropping on Rachel and Mark) The door's closed! I can't see anything with the door closed!
Chandler: And the inventor of the door rests happily in his grave.
Little Girl: You're a scrud.
Ross: What's a scrud?
Little Girl: Why don't you look in the mirror, scrud?
Ross: I don't have to; I can just look at you.
Ross: What's Joey gonna do when he finds out you blew his sister off with a letter?
Chandler: That's the part where you tell him I moved to France. (Ross looks at Chandler) ... When actually I'll be in Cuba.
Ross: All right, look, look, you've got to do this yourself, okay. In person. At least you know her name. You just go to the house and you ask for Mary-Angela, okay. When which ever one she is comes to the door, you take her for a walk, you let her down easy.
Chandler: What if Mary-Angela comes to the door and I ask for Mary-Angela?
Ross: Where in Cuba?
Ross: (About Carol being a lesbian) She didn't know! How should I know?
Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian. (Everyone turns to stare at him) Did I just say that out loud?
Ross: I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well.
Monica: Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman sobbing at 3 a.m., "I'll never have grandchildren! I'll never have grandchildren!" was what? A wrong number?
Chandler: She's amazing! She makes the women I dream about look like short, fat, bald men!
Monica: Well, go over to her! She's not with anyone.
Chandler: Oh yeah, right. And what would my opening line be? "Excuse me. Blah ra-rgh la-rgh."
Rachel: Oh, come on. She's a person, you can do it!
Chandler: Oh please. Could she be more out of my league? Ross, back me up here.
Ross: He could never get a woman like that in a million years.
Chandler: Thank you, buddy.
Ross: It's Paul the wine guy!
Phoebe: What does that mean? Does he sell it, drink it, or he just complains a lot?
Ross: I don't want to be single. Okay? I just want to be married again.
(Rachel enters the coffee shop wearing in a wedding dress)
Chandler: And I just want a million dollars.
Rachel: Guess what.
Ross: You got a job?
Rachel: Are you kidding? I'm trained for nothing!
Rachel: Let me tell you something. As a woman there is nothing sexier than a man who does not want to have sex.
Ross: No kidding?
Rachel: Oh yeah. In fact you know what I'd do?
Ross: What?
Rachel: I'd wait.
Ross: You'd wait?
Rachel: Yes, absolutely. I would wait and wait... then I'd wait some more.
Ross: Really?
Rachel: Oh yeah, I don't care how much she tells you she wants it, I don't care if she begs, she pleads, she tells you she's gonna have sex with another man. That just means it's working.
Ross: Women really want this?
Rachel: More than jewelry.
Joey: You broke the code!
Ross: What code?
Joey: You don't kiss your friend's mom! Sisters are okay, maybe a hot-looking aunt, but not a mom. Never a mom!
