Samantha Jones Quotes
Carrie: Nothing surprises me anymore. Apparently, in LA housesitters are somebody and New York writers are prostitutes.
Samantha: Sweetie, your at least a high class escort.
Carrie: Thank you.
Charlotte: My marriage is a fake fendi.
Miranda: Excuse me?
Charlotte: Trey and I look like the perfect couple from the outside but on the inside its all fake, it's not special. He can't even get it up.
Samantha: What?
Charlotte: We've never had sex...
Miranda: But, you've been married for...
Charlotte: Over a month.
Samantha: You've never had sex?
Carrie: It's not a physical thing, it's emotional.
Miranda: You knew about this?
Carrie: She told me at the wedding.
Charlotte: I really like LA.
Carrie: Who wouldn't? Keith wants to buy a three million dollar house, and I can't even afford new curtains.
Samantha: That's where the guys out here have New York men beat, real estate.
Charlotte: Could you have more comdoms?
Samantha: I did, yes.
Charlotte: I'm just so happy to be out of that condom stage of life.
Miranda: Here I thought it was called my thirty's.
I'm not going to die in this tin can, I have a date with a dildo.
Samantha: I've got something to make you feel better.
Carrie: Oh, dildos, before 10 am I'm all perked up.
Samantha: Their autographed one for each.
Miranda: My friend went to California and all I got was this lousy dildo.
Samantha: So what do you do when your not working as a one man welcome wagon?
Garth: I'm a dildo model.
Samantha: You wouldn't tease a girl would you?
Samantha: You said you knew how to drive a stick shift?
Carrie: Well, I did it a couple of times in a parking lot.
Miranda: Why didn't you get an automatic?
Carrie: I love this car, it goes with my outfit.
Samantha: What is it about California air? It makes me sleep so well.
(Miranda nods her head in agreement)
Carrie: It's not the air, your head-board knocked you unconscious.
Samantha: You heard us?
Miranda: I didn't.
Carrie: No, Ms. Snore, you wouldn't.
Samantha: Isn't this fun?
Carrie: The answer to that would be no. Sweetie, we want to go.
Samantha: What? We can't leave yet, look they haven't even cut the cock .
Miranda: What are the chances its cream filled?
(holding up the dildo)
Miranda: Wow! Nobody needs this much. You know the average woman is only five inches deep.
Carrie: Is that written on your placemat or something?
Miranda: To me the mark of a fine penis is width.
Samantha: I couldn' t agree with you more.
Carrie: Would you please put these back where ever they came from, people are staring.
Samantha: Please, it's LA. No one cares if your egg whites have a side of cock.
