Samantha Jones Quotes
(to Miranda) By the way they do wear something under those kilts, but it's easy to get off.
Samantha: It's also the possibilty that your next great fuck is just around the corner.
Charlotte: Well, my next great...
Miranda: Yes?
Carrie, Miranda, Samantha: Say it!
Charlotte: Fuck...
Miranda, Carrie, Samantha: Whomp!
Charlotte: Is, just around the corner. I finally get to sleep with Trey.
Carrie: Excuse me?
Miranda: You haven't slept with him yet?
Samantha: Honey, before you buy the car, you take it for a test drive.
Samantha: Don't you think this dress could stand to be a little bit shorter?
Charlotte: Samantha, all the skirts have to be the same length.
Samantha: Really? What about Trey's skirt?
Charlotte: It's a kilt, and it's tradition.
Miranda: She's so damn happy.
Samantha: Of course she's happy, she doesn't have to be a bridesmaid.
Carrie: Well, we got off easy, let's not forget the groomsmen have to wear kilts.
Samantha: I like the idea of men in skirts, easy access.
Miranda: Is it true that they wear nothing underneath?
Samantha: I'll find out and get back to you.
Samantha: You know marriage doesn't guarantee a happy ending, just an ending.
Charlotte: (raises her glass) An end to dating!
Charlotte: Well, I wanted to save myself until we got married.
Carrie: But, sweetie, you're not a virgin.
Charlotte: Well, I am in this relationship, and I think it's romantic.
Samantha: Yeah, it's romantic, until he can't figure out where to put it in. Honey, what if he's terrible?
Charlotte: He won't be terrible, no. He is an amazing kisser and he is so sexy and he loves me, and I've wanted to do things to him that I've never done to any body. Like the other night I was thinking of putting whip cream all over my body...
Samantha: Low fat Cool Whip is the best. It's less sticky, than other brands.
Samantha: Have you all had an AIDS test?
Carrie: Good morning, where did that come from?
Samantha: I just met this very hot guy and he won't sleep with me, unless I have a test.
Charlotte: Samantha, we're looking at wedding gowns, could you please not talk about AIDS right now?
Carrie: Wait, you've never had an HIV test?
Samantha: No! Have you?
Carrie: Two.
Miranda: Three. How can you not have had an AIDS test?
Carrie: She doesn't mean that the way it sounds. It's just that, well, why not, sweetie?
Samantha: I always practice safe sex.
(Carrie stares at her)
Samantha: Alright, I'm terrified. What if I have it?
Carrie: You don't have it.
Samantha: Sometimes, it takes me a really long time to get over a cold.
Carrie: That's not AIDS, that's central air.
Nurse: Do you have sex?
Samantha: Yes
Nurse: Do you have anal sex,
Samantha: Yes.
Nurse: Do you have oral sex,
give, receive?
Samantha: Yes, yes.
Nurse: Do you swallow?
Samantha: Only when surprised.
Nurse: Do you use condoms?
Samantha: Yes.
Nurse: What kind of condoms?
Samantha: Trojan, Lifestyle, Chic, Wet n Wild...
Nurse: No, I meant, latex, lamp-skin?
Samantha: Oh, yes, yes.
Nurse: How many sexual partners have you had?
(silence from Samantha, nurse looks at her)
Samantha: I'm counting. (thinks) This year?
Charlotte: There are 1400 gowns in this magazine and I've only seen 600 of them, I need help.
Samantha: Okay, listen, you need to chill the fuck out and hire yourself a stylist.
Charlotte: A stylist?
Samantha: Some little minued to run around town and do your dress bidding.
Charlotte: I can hire someone to do that for me?
Samantha: Honey, this is New York city, you can hire someone to do anything. I'll fax you some names.
Charlotte: Oh thank you, thank you.
Samantha: You see us Mahattan, we have it all.
Angry Neighbour: Fuck you!
Samantha: You wish.
Charlotte: Well, I think that having it all really means having someone specail to share it with.
Samantha: Oh, please, that's so Barney.
Samantha: Ladies, let's just say it, we have it all, great apartments, great jobs, great friends, great sex....
Miranda: We can have our baby quiche and eat it too.
Samantha: Exactly, at my age, my mother would settle with three kids and a drunk husband.
Carrie: You just have three drunk friends.
Samantha: By choice.
