Let's let Winston turn on his black switch. And let his black light shine.

There's two of you! I thought we were in the middle of a budget crisis!

I don't celebrate Christmas, or as I like to call it, "White Anglo Saxon Winter Privilege Night."

He's a player. Why would a good looking person ever become a doctor?

Everybody hates the Jews! Your mom's in the majority! I'll convert to Indianism!

You my boo and I been missing you. I been missing you oh so long.

I'd put it in a bowl and eat your hair.

Nick: I don't get it. Is this bath water?
Schmidt: Might as well be; it's rosé.

I can't believe I have to have feelings to have good sex. I thought I'd be dead before that happened.

Schmidt: Would I have to put my legs in the stirrups?
Melissa: Why would you even ask that?
Schmidt: I'm asking more so out of curiosity than fear. Hashtag, excitement.

You are a gynecologist and a lesbian. This makes you a vagenius.

I feel like our bodies really made something. Like we brought manufacturing jobs back to America.

New Girl Quotes

Cece: What's your stripper name?
Jess: Uh, Rebecca Johnson.
Cece: Your stripper name is Rebecca Johnson?
Jess: Boobies Johnson. Two Boobs Johnson.

I could pretend to be more like you, Jess, and live on a sparkly rainbow and drive a unicorn around and just sing all the time.

Nick