What makes Abby's jewelry so interesting is that it is dangerous and can cut you
Jess, can I borrow your glasses? We're going to roleplay as you guys.
Crazy girls are kind of my 'Hurt Locker.'
I just need to get to Rachel before he tells her horrible-slash-true things about me.
Schmidt: It's a bar mitzvah!
Nick: I am NOT watching a kid get circumcised.
Nick: I just want to make a good impression on Jess's sister.
Schmidt: Yeah, well, I want Julia Child not to be dead, but here we find ourselves.
Fellas, you made it! As promised, here's a coupon for a free sub.
Prince is terrible at Frisbee.
A lot of people never graduated high school! Einstein! Bill Gates! Anne Frank! I'm gonna take back that last one.
Nick: Do you know any time-consuming, free activities in Griffith Park?
Schmidt: Gross! Suicide?
Winston: So...where do you do the marketing?
Schmidt: Oh, Winston. So naive, so sweet. We do the marketing EVERYWHERE!
Sick people wanted me, dying people wanted to be me--I was the total candy striping package.