Andi: So what's wrong with her?
Ben: She's a huge fan of Lionel Ritchie.
Sock: Isn't that messed up?
Andi: Oh yeah.
Ben: All Night Long.
Sock: We think she's the spawn of Satan.
Andi: Later

Andi: You guy must have done something enormously horrendous to get food court duty.
Sock: Oh, yeah. Some idiot posted a picture and profile of Ted on a bi-curious website. He totally blamed us.
Andi: Huh. You do it?
Ben: Of course.
Andi: Nice

Sock: You ever dumpster dive?
Ben: Of course. Remember that shirt I got you for your birthday?
Sock: That's a fine grab

Free booze, hot Asian girls, and the smell of grease. I am home!

Ben: I mean, who's going to want me?
Sock: You bite your tongue, Benjamin. You bite your tongue 'til it bleeds in your mouth. You are a beautiful man, the outside and the inside. You got, you got that smile, that really lights up a room, that laugh. And that sexy Latin gaze that pulls you in like a magnet from the mother ship.
Ben: You... mean that?
Sock: Benjamin Casper Perez Gonzalez, I could get lost in your eyes for days. I'm not going to apologize for that

Women. They're like a... mystery, wrapped inside of a... mystery wrapped inside of a third mystery

Sock: All right, listen to me. I'm not advocating violence here. But if you need to... uh... "take care of Greg," I know some people.
Sam: Yeah, I know the Devil. I think my people trump your people.
Sock: Yeah... Oh, yeah

Sam: So, uh, what did I miss last night?
Sock: Oh dude, the bar was awesome. We had a great time.
Sam: Yeah?
Sock: Yeah.
Sam: What happened?
Sock: Uh, nothing happened. It was super boring. It sucked.
Sam: You just said it was awesome.
Sock: Yeah, I chose my words poorly, Sam

Sam: Sock, we almost got killed.
Sock: Whatever, we've almost been killed way worse than that

She's my sister and the only one allowed to have sex with her is me

Sock [to Topher]

Sock: Hey, where's the truck going?
Sam: Delaware.
Sock: I approve, good.
Ben: You're an idiot, Sam. And the Devil's going to kill you when he finds out.
Sam: Well, I hope he won't find out.
Ben: Well, isn't he all-knowing and everything?
Sam: Ben, can you find Delaware on a map?
Ben: Well, you make an excellent point

Sam: I'm good at stuff, okay. Other stuff. Right?
Sock: Yeah, you do rock the house at Guitar Hero.
Sam: That's what I'm talking about

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 124 in total

Reaper Quotes

Hey, no shame in community college, K-Fed. I almost went

Sock

Sam [about the vessels]: Wait. So, they're not all little vacuums?
DMV Demon: The boss gives you the vessel he thinks you can handle. You must be a real moron

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