Sock: Your ladyhood is a very very special thing. It's like a... you know, it's like a super awesome hot tub. And if you just let anybody hop into that tub, it becomes meaningless. It becomes filled with hair and you have to clean it out all the time.
Kristen: I hate dirty hot tubs.
Sock: We all do

Sock: Sam! Listen. Here's what we're going to do. We need to get our stories straight, okay. People are going to come here, they're going to ask questions. We have to have answers ready.
Sam: But our friend is dead!
Sock: Ben would want us to have a cover-up story for the cops and that is a fact, Sam.

Sock: This is so unfair. I am not her brother. I mean, I don't even look like her. Why does she insist on labeling me as her brother. I just want her to see me the way the rest of the world does.
Sam: And how is that?
Sock: As a sexual magician

Sam: Maybe you guys should cover the other exit.
Sock: Cover the exit with what? Our spines?

Kristen: Your mom puts a lot of pictures up of you around her room, it's a little strange
Sock: No, not really. I put most of them up myself

Ben [about the lost souls]: They even drank all the Zimas
Sock: It's kinda a shame they have to go back to hell, I would love to party with these guys

Sock: She's so hot
Ben: Smoking
Sock: Shut your mouth, that is my sister and I have dibs

Kristen: I always thought my brother would be shorter, with different hair, and a lot more Asian
Sock: I could squint for you but that'd be offensive, wouldn't it?

Ben: You're a marked man.
Sam: So, I get it. I understand if you guys can't hang out anymore.
Sock: I am sorry, Sam. But we are not here to listen to you whine about which dark army has marked you for death. Ok? We are here right now to honor the passing of the man who may or may not have been your biological father.
Ben: Well said, Sock.
Sock: Thank you. I recommend lighting the right foot and then running like hell

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