Popular Stanley Hudson Quotes
Phyllis: Everyone, this is my boyfriend Bob.
Kevin: Kevin Malone.
Bob Vance: Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration.
Stanley: Stanley Hudson.
Bob Vance: Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration.
Ryan: Ryan Howard.
Bob Vance: Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration.
Ryan: What line of work you in, Bob?
Michael: The point is, I am the only one here with a legitimate disability, although I'm sure Stanley's had his fair share of obstacles.
Stanley: I'm not disabled, and neither are you.
Michael: Hey Stanley, is that jacket made of updog?
Stanley: I'm on the phone.
Michael: I am a victim of a hate crime. Stanley knows what I'm talking about.
Stanley: That's not what what a hate crime is.
Michael: Well I hated it. A lot!
Stanley: That little girl is a child! I don't want see you sniffing around her anymore this afternoon, do you understand?
Ryan: Yes, I -
Stanley: Boy, have you lost your mind, cause I'll help you find it! Whatcha looking for, ain't nobody gonna help you out there, Jesus could come through that door, he's not going to help you, if you don't stop sniffing after my child!:
[cut to Ryan]
Ryan: Stanley yelled at me today. That was one of the most frightening experiences of my life.
Oscar: So, Pam told me you do a great Stanley impression. I'd love to hear it.
Jim: Oh, um. "Why do you keep CCing me on things that have nothing to do with me?"
Stanley: Is that supposed to be me?
Jim: Oh, hey, Stanley. Uh, I was just doing an impression.
Stanley: I do not think that is funny.
Pam: He does everyone in the office.
Stanley: Hmph. [leaves]
Jim and Pam: "I do not think that is funny."
Michael: Someone complained that the men's room is "whites only." Stanley, you know that's not true.
Stanley: I didn't say that.
Creed: Then why is there a picture of a white man on the door?
I got them a toaster. They called off the wedding and gave the toaster back to me. I tried to return the toaster to the store, and they said they no longer sold that kind of toaster. So now my house has got two toasters.
Phyllis: [to Pam] You should order the most expensive thing on the menu, so he knows you're worth it.
Stanley: If you do that, you're gonna have to put out.
Phyllis: Oh yeah, you'll have to put out.
I wake up every morning in a bed that's too small, drive my daughter to a school that's too expensive, and then I go to work to a job for which I get paid too little. But on pretzel day? Well, I like pretzel day.
Only 364 days until the next pretzel day.
Stanley
Stanley: Sometimes women say more in their pauses than they say in their words.
Michael: Really?
Stanley: Oh yes. Let's listen to it again. And this time, really listen to the pauses.
Michael: God. Stanley, that's frickin brilliant. How do you know that? Did you learn that on the streets? I'm sorry...
Stanley: Oh, it's OK. I did learn it on the streets. On the ghetto in fact.
Michael: No kidding?
