Archer: Can you put it in a person's brain?
Krieger: It'd suffocate.
Archer: Not the rabbit, you idiot - the chip.
Krieger: Oh yes, absolutely.
Archer: Without killing the person?
Krieger: Oh... maybe?

Barry: Don't try anything stupid.
Archer: I don't have to try.... shit, whatever, move.

My plan is to crowd source a plan.

Archer: You've been lying to me my entire life. Just for once I want you to tell me the truth.
Malory: Well, people in hell want ice water.

Malory: And what? You think he wanted to mind control you into loving him?
Archer: You tell me, mother. That's your speciality!

Anka: My hands are really burning.
Archer: Woh. That's first degree frost bite. Too bad you don't have big mitteny gloves like me. I can't feel a thing in them.

Anka: Are you going to throw that in my face the rest of my life?
Archer: Yeah, all four minutes of it.

I'm sure I've been in worse situations... but right now I'm kind of drawing a blank.

I can't be alone. That's when she strikes like a slutty little Ninja.

Archer: I forgot you won the Olympic gold medal in men's downhill.
Gillette: Well, ass, it was giant shalom and I only took bronze.
Archer: So? You lost?
Gillette: I came in third.
Archer: Which is last.
Gillette: Which is third...
Archer: Last.
Gillette: In he world.
Archer: You lost. Geeze, get over it.

So does this look as bad as it looks?

Anka: I'm from Germany, where the age of consent is 14.
Archer: What is it, the Alabama of Europe?

Archer Quotes

KGB (Crenshaw): This may be old cliche, but... we have ways of making you talk.
Archer: What, your little go-kart battery?
KGB (Crenshaw): Golf cart.
Archer: Whatever. Would you pick an accent and stick with it?

It's like my brain's a tree and you're those little cookie elves.

Archer