Hawaii Five-0
Fridays 9:00 PM on CBSFavorite Steve McGarrett Quotes
Danny: Let me ask you a question. Are you literally insane?
Steve: Oh relax. It's a cage for tourists. They're harmless Galapagos sharks. They're not meat-eaters. Joey doesn't know that, though.
Danno: I am stretching because my back hurts. You know why my back hurts?
McGarrett: No. Why does your back hurt?
Danno: Because I spent the morning pushing a car down the highway.
McGarrett: Oh, where I come from that's called good exercise.
Danno: Oh really? Where's that, Krypton? Where I come from it's called a workers comp settlement.
Chin Ho: You got her to use a military recon satellite and then you made a date?
Steve: I'm a multitasker.
Chin Ho: Impressive.
Danno: Oh! Whoa! Whoa! What the hell are you doing?
McGarrett: Probable cause. We were just doing a thing. I thought...
Danno: I meant we could get a key from the manager, you Neanderthal animal.
I'm so glad you're not hotheaded. I'd hate to work with someone like that.
McGarrett [to Danno]
Danno: So, if things go bad, which one do you want?
McGarrett: I'll take the ugly one.
Danno: That's good. They're both ugly.
McGarrett: Why don't you just ask her out?
Chin: Miss Hills?
McG: No, the Governor. Who do you think? Every time we see Laura she's sexting you with her eyes.
Danny: If a suspect dies, he loses the ability to speak. Ergo, he is useless to us.
Steve: Ergo?
Danno: You bought it online?
McGarrett: Yeah, I bought- Why?
Danno: What are you a schmu- What'sa matter with you? Don't order anything off the internet.
McGarrett: Danny, it's the twenty-first century.
Danno: Tell that to the guy with no master cylinder.
McGarrett: What about our John Doe?
Danno: You mean Jack?
McGarrett: You got an I.D.?
Danno: No...His head was in a box. Jack...
Chin: That just ain't right, bro.
Danno: Too soon?
Danny: We shouldn't be doing this without backup.
Steve: You are the backup.
Danny: I am the backup. I hate him so much.
Danno: It's okay? I know that you are trained to endure torture, but this is unbearable, okay? This is- This is not right. Songs this bad make people want to kill other people. Understand?
McGarrett: I think it's catchy.
