Sue: Will you sign my breast?
Cooper: My pleasure. "Keep on dreaming. Yours ... Cooper Anderson."

It's in my DNA to be intense, okay, just like it's in Porcelain's DNA to poop rainbow glitter.

Let's be honest, William. You've been out of ideas since Madonna week.

Sue: Her chagrin is limited only by the fact that she has a brain the size of a toddler's fist.
Brittany: I can show you the MRI.

Brittany thought of it. She gets an idea once every couple years and, lucky for us, this was a good one.

I spent the weekend sending your photo to ivory poachers who could make an absolute fortune selling your enormous white teeth on the black market.

Now I realize this room is America's #1 destination for cheap, sappy moralizing, but your insensitive behavior is about to subject you to a whole new level of preachiness.

Santana: What happened to Beiste? Did we do something wrong?
Sue: Well, you completely butchered one of my all-time favorite Kandor and Ebb tunes, while completely missing the point of absolutely everything.

"Advertisers are manipulative alcoholics who use images to play on our emotions. Haven't you seen Mad Men?"

"I don't know if it's the sentimental fetus in me, but I think it's my best batch ever. Nothing but fruit juicy red, Manhattan seltzer, and seven tablespoons of Visine, just so we get out of here on time."

[to Joe] "What are you looking at Jar-Jar Binks?"

You only have yourselves to blame. And the liberal media.

Glee Quotes

I've got a full ride to a little school called the University of California in Los Angeles. Maybe you've heard of it. It's in Los Angeles.

Jesse

She may be difficult, but boy can she sing. Bravo!

Kurt