Favorite Susan Mayer Quotes
Mike: Did you just say Katherine is a leprechaun?
Susan: Lesbian. Katherine is a lesbian.
Mike: Okay. The first one made more sense.
Susan: Apparently, the other night, Katherine and Robin got a little drunk...
Mike: Hold it. Robin?
Susan: Yeah. She's a leprechaun, too.
Living away from you guys has been hard on me. Because sometimes when friends live apart, they sometimes grow apart, too. But, no matter how busy or how crazy our lives are, something always seems to happen to bring us back together. And that started tonight with this dinner. May we have many, many more.
This is my turn to flaunt. And I can't flaunt with a free piano.
Susan: Moby Dick?
Robin: It's not what you think. It's about a whale.
It's funny. Some people never get to know the folks next door. They share a fence and nothing else, and we shared everything. How did we get to be so lucky?
Susan: I was just wondering... are you having some remodeling done on your house or something?
Betty: No, why?
Susan: Well, uh... I work at home, so... I'm home a lot, working, and... I just keep hearing these noises, lately. It's hard to concentrate.
Betty: I haven't noticed anything.
Susan: Really... well it sounds like it is coming from your house. You know, it's like a clinging, clinging... (clinging from the house) There, that's it! Did you hear it?!
Betty: Oh, yes... Matthew's very handy. He's always doing parts around the house. I guess I just don't notice the noise any more.
Susan: Even at 2 o'clock in the morning? Cause that's kind of hard to miss.
Betty: I'm so sorry. Matthew is somewhat of an insomniac, Susan, but I will talk to him and will put a stop to it. (we see Mathew in the bake-round behind Betty)
Matthew: Hello, Mrs. Mayer.
Susan: Hi... Matthew.
Edie's not a slut. She's just popular with indiscriminate men.
Susan: I have a clog.
Mike: Excuse me?
Susan: And you're a plumber, right?
Mike: Yeah.
Susan: The clog's in the pipe.
Mike: Yeah, that's usually where they are
Susan: Well, I don't mean to be technical here, but this show, I mean, it really is supposed to be a family thing, and I hate to point out you're not family.
Edie: No, but I have talent, and to most audiences, talent trumps family.
Susan: You fantasize about other men when you're with Carlos?
Gabrielle: Honey, Carlos has been so many different men, I'm actually surprised when I open my eyes and it's Carlos.
Lawyer: "To my dearest Susie Q. Who endured my infidelities far longer than she should have, years of cheating, betrayals almost from the day we were married...
Susan: Can we just skip to the part where I get stuff?
Susan: Thank you so much for helping me out.
Orson: Hey, I'm great in a crisis.
Susan: Well, I definitely picked the right person to sit next to, actually, is this seat taken?
Orson: No.
Susan: Okay. You can share my popcorn.
(A lady sits next to Orson)
Orson: Um Susan, this is Becky, I'll probably be sharing her popcorn.
Susan: I'll just wait till the lights go out, and then I'll go.
